Thursday, 22 September 2011
feeling quite sad recently.. cos I felt so alone.. everytime when I m free, my friends are not.. when i m not or lazy to go out..
growing up is really sad.. everyone judge people based on appearance.. if there's God, why is there inequality?
What's life after death? Nobody knows.. So sad! :x Pershaps it's good that life after death's a big unknown, or people might consider ending their life..
Boo, what a depressing day.. I was at a building beside his building, yet he refused to meet me.. Sometimes, I'll travel all the way from tuas to that building to look for him.. Passing by my house.. But today, I was there for course (which's quite rare) but he refused to meet me..
Sigh.. I spoken to someone.. She seems like a nice person, but she was not married.. I guess is because of her appearance.. Sad! Guys are merely fascinated by pretty faces&figures..
Anyway today marks the end of my second year at work.. I chose to continue.. At first, I was hoping to have a dinner with him (a simple celebration) but he ignored me.. Sigh..Labels: expression of love, HP post, job, life, little girl
Tuesday, 20 September 2011
Life is just a joke... Sigh...
I think the funniest joke of the year 2011 is when i thought my frens was celebrating my birthday for me :x Cos my fren was so misleading, he told me everyone was free for meet up & asked if i was free as well.. My another fren offered to buy KOI for us & i was so touched cos i thought it was my birthday so she thought i love KOI so she went to queue for us.. Haha, in the end, it was a farewell for her so mayb she helped to buy KOI for us is cos to thank us for attending her farewell.. I felt so stupid to assume that they met up to celebrate my birthday cos there's no practice for this group to celebrate birthday.. You know i really like it when a large group of people giving me a surprise birthday celebration.. And the funny thing was I thought everyone disguised their intention so well which make me thought it was a surprise celebration & expecting a cake out of nowhere.. lol.. Whenever i think about this, i find myself really stupid.. So stupid to assume such nice thing would even occur..
I didnt even have any flowers for my graduation.. Most of them were either carrying flower and/or bears in their arms, so envious that people really care for them as no one bought me anything.. I quite like the graduation bear, that's wearing the same the science graduation robe.. But it costs $50 & i thought it was too expensive for me.. I wonder why i even attended my own graduation ceremony.. I just felt so sad attending it..
Then he bought me the 3rd bouquet of flower after i asked him to.. I was like nagging him to do so.. So in the end, when he finally got me the flower, it was so expected.. Really.. My heart sank.. Cos i felt quite pathetic that i had to ask for my own flowers.. :( he tried to put the flowers behind his back when he approached me but i already knew he would buy me on that day.. Sigh..
I m too tired.. The entry is already sad enough.. Shall stop blogging for today..
Labels: expression of love, HP post, life
what a terrible life I m leading.. :( If there's God, why is God never fair to me? why am I so freaking tall? damn, why cant i just be of average height?
it's pretty irritating when e lovely guys around u are short.. & the unlovely thing about them is their ego; they mind gf taller than them!Labels: expression of love, HP post, life
Saturday, 10 September 2011
it's quite depressing to talk to rich friends.. i got friends who are so rich.. went to US/UK to study.. travel extensively during their course of study.. eat, drink & lives without any worries.. if they need money, they can just get it from their parents..
after graduation, they can get some capital from their parents to start a business.. or they can travel around or slack around while thinking about their direction in life..
Wow.. Unlike them, i led a totally different life from them.. i could not afford an overseas education.. I studied in singapore & i couldnt live & spend without constant worry of having insufficient money.. I remember buying clothes only occasionally as i dont have money.. I want to eat nice food but it was hard.. Even buying some pretty clothes & make up to doll myself up was just a dream.. Guys are not attracted to me then :(
I always regret not going Europe for an exchange but even if i could go back time, i still had no money for exchange.. I had to teach tuition to make ends meet..
Poverty's a very scary disease.. For everything in life costs money.. You'll just be helpless.. I am really petrified of being helplessly poor..
Can i break free from this poverty cycle pls?Labels: expression of love, fate, life
Tuesday, 6 September 2011
so shocking! when I heard no more events under that portfolio.. I am sure I regretted my decision.. but I guess I don't care anymore since I m really leaving.. there's nothing that can make me stay anymore..
I guess I m really an unlucky person.. horrible.. if I were to stay, bound to have tonnes of thing to do.. luck was never on my way..
as I think through about the thing that had happened previously, I really wonder what shitt can happen in my life.. I am not pessimistic ,but realistic.. if gd thing can ever happen to me, I guess it must be a bigger shit in disguise..
what can I look forward to in life?
most of the time, I prayed but my prayer never answered..
I'll to take it easy..Labels: expression of love, fate, HP post, job
Sunday, 4 September 2011
Time passes so fast.. & i feel that my life's going to a waste.. There are just so many regrets in life.. I wasnt mature when i was younger, that's why i thought that there is hope.. Crappy me..
I sort of missed NUS though there were many regrets.. I studied the wrong major in school.. Sianz..
Oh ya, he bought a mac book air for himself.. Very pretty & he waited for me to open the mac book together.. So funny.. But it was quite fun though..
My job is getting more & more bored & i wonder if it is time to go... Sianz..
I just met up with a good fren of mine, hasnt seen her for 2 years.. She had got together with a guy she had loved very much & they had bought a BTO.. Going to get married soon, when the guy proposed.. So cool.. Definitely before 2015 when the BTO is built.
Everyone seems to be very happy & leading a meaningful life.. & my life's going to a waste..
Labels: expression of love, life, touched
