time can really change perspective.. it is interesting how i start off with disliking some pple to now liking them..

and sometimes it is so weird to like someone u once dislike like hell..

and like can sometimes develop into love.. but as there is no clear definition between like and love, some are oblivious that they have already crossed the boundary.. however, such prolonged oblivion would of course leads to inaction.. and this would in turn reduce love back to like..

i always believe that when someone love another, he will go all out to impress.. but then there is always a very fine line between impressing someone and just being a gentleman.. it is thus so hard to be awared if u have crossed this fine line.. and sadly, most of the time if u are awared, u will have missed the train because nothing is constant u know.. whahaaha..

it could also be tt both are in love with each other but none has the courage to take action.. haiz.. why cant life be easier? life is just so complicated.. this causes us to consider so much before deciding if we shld take action.. the time taken for consideration can cause alot of thing to change..

anyway my stand is firm.. i will not give before i receive.. dont want history to repeat itself..

damn it.. i will be getting another arrow again.. faint.. anyway my definition of arrow means those thing not within my primary job scope..

i m among my batch mate the person who kena the most arrowS.. sometimes i wonder if people know that i m also doing my primary job as well.. and cos of these arrows i had to constantly do OT.. haiz....

anyway, this incoming arrow my section all tin this arrow will kena me.. so i wonder if i shld just volunteer myself.. since it will kena me anyway, volunteering will show my boss's boss tt i got initiative.. anyway, one of the in-charge actually send me a pte email to ask if i can help out.. haiz.. confirmed is me liaoz la.. anyway i nearly fainted when i saw the email.. havent replied him yet =P

initially i got 3 arrows.. i cleared one and thought of taking up some major secondary appointments.. now i kena another arrow.. and i am back with 3 arrows.. i wonder if i ever have the time to sleep.. cos i really interested in taking up a major secondary appointment..

i want nobody nobody but you..

xmas celebration ytd at changi.. went there with my little xmas hat hair clip and red top.. was trying to show off my little xmas hat clip.. i was socialising with esther's group of colleagues.. at the same time showing off my little xmas hat clip.. i guess i didnt say hi to my own colleagues and my boss's boss.. but i was trying to find solution to a problem that both tuas and changi are facing.. haha.. indeed i tin i found the solution.. wahahhaaha.. i cannot wait for monday to come.. i must solve this problem fast.. if successful, i must also let changi know in case they tot we selfish and nxt time heck care us.. lol..

anyway, i realise most people ard my age are located in gombak.. and i enjoy hanging out with them more =X but i prefer tuas cos of its location.. and my boss also stay ard my house so when i need to go changi, he can fetch me to and fro..

i wonder why i totally forgot to go say hi to my boss's boss.. i tin i am dead..

been OT-ing for the past few days.. i wonder if i have became a workaholic.. cos i feel great sense of achievement when i finished my work.. wahahaha.. and i feel excited when i see work.. wahhahaa..

anyway i should have studied in uni so i will get better grades.. scholars in govt sector has higher responsibilities and are in charge of decision making policy.. these are something i am interested more in.. after working here for abt 3 months.. i am tempted to marry a scholar.. i love intelligent guy =)

i want someone intelligent.. he must be someone of high authority at work but a very nice friend after work.. and he must be willing to spend $$ on me =) hahaa.. i didnt want to compromise.. i want nobody nobody but you~~

oh yeah i m so happy today =)

time can indeed change perspective.. i admit i m someone who like to judge people.. so this time round i misjudged two person and today i realised that they are very nice people.. haiz.................. maybe cos they are male and i have very low tolerant level for males.. whahaha..

anyway recently i was sooooooooooooooooooo busy and OT almost everyday.. but the most ultimate when i kena the LOIA duty which req me to be away from Sun to the following sun.. i got so much shit to clear before i go for my duty.. in the end, i OT on fri till midnight.. i wanted to work till the next morning but there is time restriction to use the computer.. so i went back to work on sat.. and then the next day report work for my LOIA duty.. that week was so xiong.. when i came back, i saw numerous emails waiting for my actions.. nearly fainted.. wahahaha..

i accidentally flared at my boss again today.. haiz.. i dont know why i promised to be nice to him but somehow i failed to achieve.. shucks.. i feel guilty.. damn..

anyway tmr i gg to changi for xmas party.. is organised by minds cafe i tin.. i hate playing board game.. haiz.................................... anyway i have decided to wear that little xmas hat for party tmr.. shall just gain attention!!!!!

overall i am happy today =)

xmas..

this yr xmas is different.. i feel relaxed compared to last yr's while i was forced to go work on xmas and attend countless xmas parties with those pesty property agents who never refer any deals to me..

i will buy choco for my 3 colleagues in my section.. i bought some little thing for my 2 favorite NSF.. 1 of the NSF's very nice to me, i will never forget the incidence when he ran from the guard house to office to get my hp which i left accidentally behind.. he likes doramon so bought him the doramon umbrella.. the other NSF helped me alot in my work by providing me with accurate info.. sometimes it is puzzling that someone with 10yrs of working exp arent able to provide these info.. i wonder if this is the trend that as one gain more exp, they tend to think that they are the subject matter expert and thus they do not see the need to continue learning.. anyway i bought this NSF a pencil case, a pen and a pencil cos he will be gg to study in SMU after he ORD..

oh ya, there is also gift exchange.. i have picked an NSF.. my fav NSF helped me ask him what he want.. he said choco or biscuit.. so i have bought the guylian choco for him..

a MAJ and i were scheduled to escort the taiwanese CDF 2 weeks ago.. he is very nice.. initially i was quite sianz that i kena this arrow but in the end, i realised that the taiwanese are very nice people and the MAJ is also very nice.. in fact i enjoyed this arrow very much.. i wanted to give him choco tmr since i m gg changi for ranking but i wondered if he will feel odd that i m buying sometin for him.. anyway, i miss the time when i am disturbing him.. very fun.. wahahaha.. this is currently the best time of my work life..

garbage in garbage out

anyway i am totally pissed off with people who feeds me with garbage.. dont know say dont know.. dont try to smoke me.. my IQ is high de.. and the worst thing is people can actually be angry when i went to verify the wrong info with another.. i have high intelligence la, i don't accept garbage..

i was quite gald that S is back from holiday.. the worst being last week both S and his mentor were away.. i nearly died when i need info.. i have given up asking that person.. how many months have i been there only? so few months but given me so many wrong info.. sorry, i m unable to trust her anymore..

haiz..... i m still so pissed with my limited resources.. damn....... my life has gone to a waste.. anyway, i better start drawing down a list or i will forget certain thing..

how to be happy with such limited resources?

the importance of money..

there is really nothing more impt in life than money.. i have too many thing i want to buy but no $$ =( at first i thought i can earn lota of $$ in banking but in the end, i was with a bitchy boss and she used me..

now that i m a salaried worker, there is simply no way for me to break free of the poverty cycle.. there is so many thing i want to buy but no $$.. sad =(

and i went online shopping and was hoping that they will mail the thing to me before xmas, but it will not happen, my clothes will only be mailed to me after xmas.. =( and possibly in yr 2010!! wtf =/

on a brighter note, i have became a smarter gal.. i will never forget every little sufferings that i have gone through..

and i must maintain my physical appearance.. people judge u by ur appearance and not by ur character..

haiz just feel so depressed today.. everything in life costs $$.. just like "real" love cost $$ too.. before a guy likes u, u have to pretty first.. before u are pretty, u need to groom urself.. before u can groom urself, u need $$..

everything in life has a price tag.. u can have watever u want if u have $$.. if someone resists ur offer, it does not mean that the person has integerity.. but rather the offer did not match the value of his integrity.. the value of integrity fluctuates from situation to situation.. for eg, for someone to lie might just cost $300.. but for criminal forgery might cost $100K.. the value depends on the intensity of aftermath upon losing of integrity..

if one has unlimited $$, he could own the whole world.. cos everything in life comes with a price tag, so if u can afford it, u will own it.. this applies to both thing that are intangible and tangible.. u name it, u have it if u have sufficent $$..

in one situation, my integrity is only worth $500/month.. period..

haiz.. damn i wonder why i have changed so much after i left banking..

banking really changed my life..

guys like gals due to their appearance.. and ur husband might be seeking a secret life with another gal outside.. i cannot believe when guys offered me indecent proposal..

男人有钱就变坏, 女人变坏就有钱.. this is wat i heard from someone..

my current job also provide me with insights about the cruel reality abt life.. haiz.. everyone is hiding behind their masks.. in the past i am motivated to remove their mask and let them present their true self cos is more comfortable to be urself.. but i was so upset to see their true self.. their true self is such a horror.. so my conclusion is better for them to hide their ugly face behind the mask..

so this is why i m determined to find myself the perfect man.. i m not a child gal, my definition of perfect exclude his true character cos i am a supporter of mencious.. i believe in the theory of evolution and hence, the perfect man entails an above-average physical appearance, high IQ, high potential..

and trust me, i dont go for any tom, dick or harry cos the last tin i want is to spend all my fortune on them.. ytd there is an article on a guy who went around cheating gals for their $$ as he successfully deceived them that he likes them.. when a man loves a woman, he will go all means to impress her and the most basic includes buying gifts.. if he nvr buys anything for her, it just means that he is not into her and probably due to desperacy and many gals might have rejected him before..

$$ is so important =(

just so many thing i want to own but seems like i dont bear to part with my $$ =(

sometimes it is a struggle to choose one thing over another.. cos i dont have endless cash but i have unlimited wants.. but by the petite salary i am drawing, there is really no way to fulfil all my needs.. haiz....... so sianz.. i m now being trapped in the poverty cycle.. i must break out of this poverty cycle or i will be a very sad girl =(

i just unable to force myself to get a car cos i cannot bear with a huge portion of my salary on car instalment and maintenance, parking or wat.. haiz.. i need more $$$$$..

just feel so sad tt i m getting so little bonus this yr.. haiz............ i need $$$$!!

today i was supposedly in a good mood as i have slept enough the previous night.. then a bitch came to spoil my day!! can u believe this? since she is so mean, i will make sure she pays for it someday.. trust me i will..

i must not fall in love with any tom dick or harry.. i must marry someone of a certain social status.. i am in love with guys in uniform =)

cos i know i just stay here in heaven..

back to work after my social escort thingy.. was super tired.. i was like a dynamite, gg to ignite any moment.. i was so pissed that someone screwed up my thing.. and the person fuckingly go and complain abt me.. i felt so disgusted and decided to spill the beans, in the end, she got into trouble.. fuck her.. i always wanted to complain abt her le but just tt now ranking season, i tried not to do such a thing as it might affect her grades.. but i am so upset tt people just like to take advantage of another..

my social escort life ended.. but i really learnt alot from this..

oh yeah!! my social escort life ended.. wahahaha.. i realised i have learnt alot from this.. shall update more hopefully tmr after work at changi..

why cant the right person also appear at the right time? sigh..

the most tiring moment in my second job =( i hate this...................... but i must be positive!! =X

life is just so screwed up.. trust me.. now i need to sleep cos i m still on a mission..

but then anyway, it is quite sad to meet someone u like but u know he can nvr be urs..

after i became prettier, i could do everything i want to do.. slimming down is really worth it man.. anyway, guys must not try to mess with me cos i bite people.. trust me, if u dont trust me, then try me..

a ring is really useful to fend off unnecessary attention.. i dont want their wivies to slap me on my face and ask me why i seduce his husband.. i need my image..

他妈的.. i kena another arrow again!!

but after talking to esther, i realised that this arrow might be a blessing in disguise =)

anyway i realised that i am involved in another shit discussion again.. 他妈的.. i m quite angry.. i need to talk to that person boss tmr.. there is always a threshold for everything.. dont cross the line just cos if i appear to be friendly.. sometimes i dont understand why thing is done in certain way and people better explain to me.. and i am quite disgusted when people start talking behind my back when no one bothers to update me with policies in the first place..

shall see if i kena another arrow tmr.. if i kena another one, i might be very merciless.. i mean my intention tmr will not to fault anyone but i just want the boss to do something to manage her own people and stop obstructing me from doing my own job when we are in different dept.. 井水不犯河水..

anyway i need to explain to the boss to educate her people that when i OT until 11pm i m working and struggling like mad, i m not doing whatever crapz they tin i m doing..

my mood is very bad now esp with all the arrows stuck onto me and i can see more arrows coming.. 他妈的..