timing

timing is a very important factor.. too fast or too slow is very bad.. for me, i always have the problem of timing.. sometimes everything is correct but just that i am way behind time.. a good example to narrate was i saw a very beautiful bag that i knew that i will carry it with me everyday for the next few years because it is very versatile and it suits me lot.. however, i only saw the bag when i lost my job.. the only way to get the bag is to snatch it from someone who carries it.. but thief is socially stigmatised.. if u steal it from someone, the law will get u and u will also be depised by every single of the mankind..

huifang, thou shalt not steal.. thou shalt wait for the right timing.. maybe it is time to just get a new bag that is within my budget!!

p/s: sometimes we just have to accept that fate will mould our destiny.. it is just something that is inevitable and unavoidable............

the sound of departure is unbearable.. sometimes u never know certain thing has an impact in your life until it is gone.. but then everyone is bounded by responsibility.. sometimes you are not able to do certain thing because it is not within your duty to do so.. or rather you are in your comfort zone.. too comfortable to the extent of not wanting to change.. probably responsibility also plays a role..

sometimes you never know what has gone wrong until you ask.. however, to ask requires you to summon alot of courage.. so much courage that you just give up asking.. because deep down you know that the chances of hearing something that you dont want to listen is very high.. so high that makes you timid.. so timid that your perceived perception of the world would then collapse to the harsh reality.. harsh reality that could potentially destroy your mental well-being which also will lead to extreme physical exhaustion.. once the soul and the body are weak.. you will have no choice but to accept that you are just a lonesome pathetic whose sole destiny is the path to disintegration..

someone said that she wants to be happy in whatever she do so she made the decision.. i felt so insignificant.. i want to be happy but yet i cannot make the decision because i am too bounded by responsibility..

she is happy.. but am i?

as usual i am always misunderstood regarding issues with guys.. even since i shed weigh(though i am still fat now..).. i have ridiculous rumors with guys in school.. now i am working.. weirdo guys came to hit on me.. people just so puzzled cos they think that how come huifang, someone who is not that pretty, got guys hitting on her.. they think that she flirted with them.. please!! i swear i never did such a thing.. initially i was so upset that people dont understand me.. but now, i don't give a damn and never bother to explain to anyone except with my good friends.. how others think about me, i don't care.. but i care about how my good friends think about me.. it is pretty sad that sometimes good friend also don't understand you..

recently i nearly did something wrong.. luckily i was pulled back from Satan.. someone sent me a very long msg on facebook.. in addition, 1 of the person i met recently told me something.. i was quite surprised that she didnt know a single thing about me, yet she seems to be god-sent and provided me with a good advice.. she taught me what is impossible in life.. i believe we are all bounded by responsibilities in life.. and we must abide by the promises we made.. this is the golden rule of life.. as i was dazing on satursday (i was feeling so sickly on satursday.. i spent the whole day sleeping..) i recalled what my host told me regarding her experience.. i felt so sad.. then i fell asleep and i realised that i was dreaming.. i forgot the exact details of my dreams.. but i know vaguely that it was a happy one.. i have to move on.. i know i will see the bed of roses ahead of me.. one day, i will sleep with the urge to wake up so that i could see the beautiful thing in life.. one day, i will dread to sleep because i will miss some beautiful thing in life.. one day, i will be a happy person who looks forward to live life..

haiz.. seems like another long time since i blogged..

i am just too lazy to go online after work.. don't understand why friends love to jio people out using MSN/facebook/email? i simply cannot access any of the 3 means of communication in my office.. wonder why people just don't use hp to sms.. probably my presence is just not so important.. it is ok anyway..

oh ya, i am so sickly now.. terrible sore throat and slight headache.. thought of taking MC but i might just as well go to work because I will still need to do something even when i am on MC.. no point la.. i remember the last time i took MC, i still went to meet client cos "it was urgent".. in the end, the client didn't even meet certain requirements..

feeling so high now.. wonder why.. my throat hurts.. my head aches.. and i m online playing games.. haha..

i am sick..... can someone come save me? come accompany me home tomorrow from work? ok i shall stop.. i shall stop trying to attract attention.. it is so disgusting.. because who will care anyway..

pray i can fall asleep today.. my throat is excruciatingly painful..