these few days i was so busy with navy open house and then the retiree dinner.. and i did something wrong and it got me in deep shit

anyway he came back to my life.. a few days ago, he was hostile to me all but then he knew i am upset, hence he came to console me.. i don't know if he had ulterior motive or was he under my boss's boss instruction, but i was very happy to be with him..

he could solve all my problems.. i think i really admire him alot.. i like to be with him.. i like to talk to him.. i like to hang out with him.. i like to just be with him.. oh no.. this is bad cos he don't think i am pretty..

i was so upset but only he was interested to listen to me despite he was very tired.. ytd he told me he will be a very sucessful person in the future and i tin so too.. he told me that i shall owe him one if his suggestion could solve my present sticky situation.. so i asked if he wanted a treat from me, he replied that he could buy himself.. so i asked him wat he wanted, he said he would decide and tell me later.. i wondered what he want..

today i was so busy with my another dinner proposal..

i like him because he is so freakingly bilingual.. i like people who is very good in language..

i am so jealous of one of my gf lor.. she found the perfect one..

he fits almost all the criteria on my list wor.. ok.. maybe i will talk abt some of the more important criteria.. pse note i am only discussing SOME of the criteria ya? i lazy write long long blog entry..

he don't go dutch.. now the guys are so screwed.. if both the gf and bf are already earning.. the bf shldnt have soooooo many committeement right? unless he really comes fr a very difficult family background, i don't see why he could not fork out $$ to pay for his gf.. my dad once told me, if a guy really likes a gal, he WILL spend on her, excluding those exceptional cases where the guy really need the $$ to feed his family of 10 tt kind or his whole family is so sickly that he has to spend his entire salary on their medical bills la.. it is ok to go dutch if the gal and the guy are just friends.. but i will smack any guys' head if they want to go dutch but in the end, said he love me or wat shit.. if love is only demonstrated through words, i guess i am very fortunate because i got a truck-load of people who told me they love me..

he is too sweeeeeeeet.. i believe the first gift is very special because it will form part of ur important memory.. so he went with her to a swarovski shop.. he saw her staring at a pretty necklace so he bought one for her.. so sweet.. most guys would ask if the gal like the necklace when they saw her staring at it.. and most gal would reply they don't really like it or they don't want it.. when gals said they don't want it, it just means they don't want to force their guys to buy.. which sane gal will keep looking at a necklace if they don't like it? do u keep looking at a rubbish dump? no right? anyway, the first gift impresses me.. in fact i am quite jealous of her..

and they are going on some seminar with their frens.. and he offered to pay for the air tickets.. hmmm.. he must have love her ALOT!!!!!!!!! my god, that's abt freaking $600+ u know? i tot most guys would just subsidise part of the air fare? i am quite sure he is madly in love with her..

he is intelligent.. 1st class honours.. i always like intelligent guys.. i haven't spoken to him hence i am not sure if he only have academic intelligence.. donno if he is street smart as well.. but then i always feel that guys who do well academically means that they are mature at a young age.. they understand the importance of studying hard to have a better future.. they give me the impression they could plan well and be my shepherd..

he is sensitive, when she has to do OT and she is hungry, he would drive to pick her up from her office to eat, although he has already reached home.. a perfect guy will never let his gal go hungry..

anyway, i am sure that these sweet gestures will never persist.. over time, the guy would become complacent but i am sure that even if he became laid back, he would still be one of the best bf as compared to the other guys.. he is just a saint now..

damn.. why she so lucky huh? anyway i must get a guy like him.. and next time, i shall show off him to everyone.. heeheee.. *evil laughter*

i worked ytd.. and i learnt something that broke my heart..

someone cracked a joke during a wedding.. guys always hope to be with someone pretty and choosing a gf is like choosing grocery in a supermarket.. when they see someone at 1st floor, they were not contented most of the time and they would go up to 2nd floor and to the 3rd then the 4th becos they tot they could find someone prettier.. so in the end, when they reached the 5th floor, there was no more girls but just a sign that says "you have already reached the highest storey"..

after this narration, the bride asked the groom at which floor did he meet her.. he replied basement 2 and everyone laughed..

this is sad.. when will u know if u have already reached the floor 4 or u are still at 1st floor and there are still more ahead for u to choose and so u r not in any hurry to decide on this particular one..

i wonder if i really know wat i want in life.. not every single human is perfect.. hence, we must be practical and must understand that a perfect prince charming will not appear in front of u.. and we must understand that if the level of imperfection is within our tolerance level, we should just settle for it.. because no one is perfect.. really..

i always want to have a grand birthday surprise.. exactly the kind that featured in the drama..

the male lead picked the female lead from her house on her birthday.. he then bring her to breakfast and lunch and fun activities.. then he brought her to his house for nice wine.. and when both of them reached his house and switched the lights on.. the female lead was touched.. all her friends were there and someone passed him the birthday cake and he started singing happy bdae.. and everyone followed...

wow.. and the cake was from a super ex ex hotel.. i dont like cheap cake.. and it was so yummy that i could swallow the whole cake but i cannot be selfish as i need to share with my friends as well..

then there were many trays of food he catered.. tonnes of food.. all of my favourite food.. got my fav samosa, fish, chicken, pastry, noodles and...........

and there is wine....... wow....... everything is so great...... but i know this is not possible.. ya.... cos i am not pretty enough to have a bf who love me this much to throw this kind of expensive party which requires him tonnes of preparation and effort..

nowadays guys everything also go dutch.. the funniest being at the end of the surprise party, for the donno how many times we go out tgt, he will want me to pay for everything eg his meals and movie cos he is too broke after he organised my surprise bdae party.. guys are so cheapo.. this could happen.. really..

this must be love

before ur thoughts run wild, i m not the lucky lady who is basking in love. Period. ha. this is about my best friend and that xx..

just abit of background before telling about how lucky tt lady is.. i always like 几米 pictorial book.. he is an author who presents philophical thoughts abt life in pictures and short yet thought provoking sentences.. i had quite a few of his books at home but most of them are pirated version.. recently, xuxu went to taiwan and bought me 2 latest copy in original version.. the pictures are so beautiful and there is indeed vast difference between the pirated and the original version.. when i am reading the book, i will uncontrollably place my hand on the page and could not help but to admire the very beautiful pictures.. and then to digest the short and meaningful sentences.. i hate to read long sentences cos i believe a good author is someone who can put across thought provoking scenario with just short and simple sentences.. i was quite disappointed with one of his series which he used far too many words, making the page filled with excessive words..

his books are quite ex, about $20 per book..

i believe my interest in 几米 books sort of influence one of my friend.. i cannot reveal her name cos i might be killed.. but then, she also develops an interest in 几米's book.. so when xx went to taiwan, she asked him to buy for her as well.. she only asked him to buy 2 or 3 cos it is too expensive.. so u know wat? one day, she told me she had 20+ 几米's book cos xx bought for her.. it was a surprise.. it is also baffling how xx manage to transport the numerous heavy books from taiwan to sg..

isnt xx so sweet to my friend? not only this, he also did many many sweet things to her..

i am someone who is very passive in love.. i am like a solar power equipment.. i will only react when i absorb sufficient light energy.. in love, i dont give before i receive.. cos i never want history to repeat itself.. it is very disgusting..

if he is THE one, he will have to make his identity known to me by being very nice to me.. i wonder if 几米's entire collection is sufficient or i need some other surprise? haha.. i tin that if i were her, and my THE one bought me the 20+ 几米's book, i will be very touched.. no.. i tin he need to do something else, cos i can never boast to this lucky lady liaoz..

1 possible sceniorio
me: u know he bought me the entire 几米's collection..
lucky lady: so wat? xx bought me long long time ago.. did yours also do this do that do this do that ne?
me: ...

i cannot lose to this lucky lady.. Mine has to be better than hers.. it is all or nothing..

anyway, i am so sicky today.. i thought of not going to work but then i still go because i have to take leave tmr and fri..

anyway i was late for work today cos i was trying to find herbal tea and then i realised that no human being would start selling herbal tea so early.. then i considered if i should drink soya bean instead and i didnt buy simply cos i didnt want to drink it.. so in the end, i went to 7-11 to buy orange juice..

when i reached office, 蔡小弟 bought sandwich for me.. i was quite touched cos i didn't know that anyone would be so nice to me when i was so sick.. however, i didnt eat the sandwich cos i have already bought my breakfast le.. i would always ensure that i eat well when i am sick because i know that i have only myself to take care of myself..

the pleasant surprise really brightens up my day.. this is because i could hardly recall anyone buying food for me when i was sick.. or probably the whole world thought that i am too fat le.. falling sick should make it slimmer.. so i should eat that much..

ytd was the start of my sickness but was still under controlled.. i went work without my panadol.. then i had to wait till lunch to get those pills.. just when i was so damn angry that my fri mission might screw up due to my sickness.. i saw sandwich.. =) at least i see some hope.. thanks =)

dear angel and devil,

I know i should have written a separate letter to both of u because I understand that both of u dislikes each other and to address both of you together would mean an insult for the both of u.. nevertheless, i am now emotionally incapable of writing separate reply to both of u..

u know what? he is on his path to concillate with his beloved.. i guess soon ba.. sadly, my speculation is always true.. i simply just hate myself sometimes for being to be able to predict bad thing so accurately.. why can't i be wrong just this one time ne?

anyway, i finally believe that everything in life is fated.. wat is meant to be urs will be urs.. what that is not, it might still happen but it will either occur too early or too late..

my beloved angel and devil, though both of u are mutually exclusive ideas, i strongly believe that u love me.. and both of u want the best for me..

it is ok.. i understand this happens due to fate.. when i looked into the mirror, i saw a reflection of someone who is cursed to damnation..

and worse, i am not that attractive i think i am.. cos he just cannot see me..

regards
Your Most Faithful Mortal

Media that makes me touched..

Valentine by Martina Mcbride
it is weird.. i felt so touched when i listened to this song.. i was buying waffle when i heard this song.. i was loitering in the shop till this song was over.. weird.. why do i suddenly feel touched? probably the part "You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly" is the culprit?

Save the best for the last by Vanessa Williams
i love this song a lot.. the whole song is so meaningfully written though it is just a hoax la.. nevertheless, life will only be pretty if everyone could use their imagination to fantastise.. this song is great in the sense that the lyrics are very nice.. Just when I thought our chance had passed. You go and save the best for last

Beauty and the Beast
Beauty and the Beast is my favorite cartoon.. i finally got hold of its VCD.. it took me alot of effort to get the copy.. and yes, no need to ask me to lend you, i won't lend.. haha.. the scene that touched me the most was the part when Beauty finally danced with Beast.. though it will never happen in this real world.. somehow this deception that "what is within you supercedes the ugliness exterior" is just too beautiful.. and people with truly good heart will be appreciated, regardless of their appearance.. i just felt so touched when i see them danced.. maybe it is too beautiful to be true and i have never seen it before.. hence, i could not help but to feel in this way when i saw the scene.. I am still hoping to get the german version of this walt disney cartoon.. gosh.. will i ever have the german copy leh? please let it drop from the sky!! i have combed a few record stores when i was in DE le, still no luck =(

if only this will happen in the real world.. i watched oprah winfrey today and it was about a litle girl from the Philipphines with an angelic voice.. she always yearned to be a famous singer so that she could provide her single mum and siblings with a confortable life.. anyway, i am lazy to elaborate.. what touched me was the moment she cried (in joy) when her dream of singing with her idol and her dream of fighting against poverty were finally fulfiled.. i admired her alot because i knew that this can never happen to me.. nevertheless, i was not jealous of her.. and i was touched when i knew that she is now a happy girl..

tomorrow morning will be the moment of truth.. 13 seems to be an unlucky number.. sianz.. but then i will only be upset for 1 hour ya?