i will be sinking my teeth into the wasabi double fillet o fish tmr.. hopefully i wont eat too much junk until there is insufficient space in my stomach to hold the burger and also the super yum yum seaweed fries..

i m now stuck at a sudoku puzzle.. help!!

great.. ms liang has now evolved into homo sapien.. this is quite a sad thing because homo sapiens are very ugly creature who focused on only the exterior.. good interior is just an added advantage..

after living in this shitty world for quite long shitty period.. ms liang finally has enough.. ya.. she has decided to be shallow.. who cares about character anyway? the characters of all homo sapiens are just cmi..

ms liang wants to lose weigh but at the same time, ms liang wants to eat eat and eat.. my god.. how can ms liang strike a balance?

on a sidenote, love is action.. for instance, a huge box of chocolate on my office desk would be fantastic.. the choco has to be those bite size with many different flavours.. the best would be a wasabi double fillet o fish burger meal with seaweed shaker fries for lunch.. the wasabi thingy might be abit impossible cos there is simply no mac near my office.. so have to ask for delivery which costs $3 more.. but does it matter? love means ensuring that your loved one could eat whatever they desire.. the happiness due to satified appetide is very fulfiling..

i also want to eat carrot cake.. skinny pizza..

yum yum yum =)

oh ya.. i got super bad craving for wasabi double fillet o fish.. yum yum yum.. i want to eat it so badly.. but i don't want to eat it for dinner.. too bad, there isn't any mac near my working place or i can eat it during lunch.. nvm.. i shall eat it this sat.. after my tuition.. hopefully nothing goes wrong.. initially wanted to eat last sat after my tuition BUT i was too full after gorging on bread and finger food before my two tuitions.. is ok.. i will try to make this happen de.. maybe i will also get myself a sokudo book.. got hooked on this recently..

oh ya.. i met someone quite interesting ytd.. his personality is so similar to his dad.. i have met him before but ytd was the first time we communicated.. he shared with me the kind of students in different classes.. from the way he conversed, i realised that he would make a very good and stern father..

oh ya, i am glad that the class who threw paper ball at me didn't do it ytd.. instead they asked me for help in their assignment.. for once, those monkeys seems very adorable..

the transfer of negativity

recently i am in very bad mood.. yup.. terrible horrible mood.. partly contributed by lack of sleep.. and didn't get the chance to eat the wasabi fillet o fish burger.. so ytd i transfered my negativity to someone.. yup.. after i simmered down, i couldnt believe wat i have done..

anyway.. two shit guys also contributed to my terrible mood.. thanks to you 2 guys.. thanks for making my mood even worst..

the 1st guy.. i realised most guys are generally illiterate.. for instance, i have been trying to contact this shit colleague fr fri to sat.. until i finally gave up and sent an sms to ask him TO RETURN MY CALL!! that asshole sms me on sun 9pm and asked if i have anything to tell him.. wtf? i already mentioned in my sms i have thing to let him know.. cos my sms ringtone was very soft.. it is ok.. i shouldnt have expected anything fr the martian anyway..

the 2nd guy.. a total idoit!! pls.. i do sales and customer service de.. u tin i don't know what u thinking ma? anyway, that idiot was waiting for bus at the bus stop.. i was walking towards the bus stop and i saw him.. when my eyes met his, he quickly turned away.. then i walked in front of him and waved.. he pretended not to see me.. damn idiot.. i thought i was told by my dearest coursemates that i was very very fat and i will definitely be left on the shelf that kind.. so is it possible that he will miss a massive giant? and that giant was waving her super thick arms at him.. darn martian.. asshole la.. u tin u r wat? ugly looks, no $$.. and u want me to take initiative all the time? and for heaven sakes, i asked u to join me and my colleagues for lunch on ur first day of work is not because i like u lor.. is that my boss ask me to do so de.. and then i intro u to my colleagues is not i like u lor, is i have to do so cos on the first day, we actually bumped to each other at the bus stop after work and if i didnt intro u to them then how? u will be taking the same train with my colleagues.. i am just trying to help u.. damn it.. that asshole then fake fake came over and say hi.. it is too late.. he has already made it to my hate list.. i mean for heaven sakes la.. i must be crazy to love someone like u..

talking about this issue, i suddenly tot of 1 guy in uni.. the freshies were actually teasing me and another guy (someone fr another OG but we don't know each other personally).. so my style of handling rumours would be to play along with people.. i was telling them that i like him and that guy suddenly appeared and i could see that his face turned pale white.. whiter than a piece of the super white tissue paper.. my god.. uni liaoz.. this kind of thing u actually believe.. maybe i need to mention that this happened when my weight was between 90 to 100kg.. that guy actually avoided me.. so damn obvious.. whenever he saw me walking towards him, he will reverse and walk in another direction.. then came the day when i slim down.. but then still fat la.. then his attitude changed.. he actually would smile and nod when we bumped into each other.. and my response? i don't give even a damn to him..

damn.. my life is very terrible horrible liaoz.. don't make it worse hao ma? and ya, i told u i don't like the oily food.. so i decide to lunch at 1pm with sh.. today, she actually came to me and asked me to go lunch with her at noon at somewhere i want to eat.. shit.. this is just a trick.. if i oblige, i will be termed as someone who is self centered and forced people to eat at the place they dont like to eat.. since sh and i shared the same interest.. i eat with her and u eat urself hao le.. sorry i don't compromise anymore.. i cannot have alot of thing i want in my way.. but at least i can control the food i consume right? if i don't even have the rights to control wat i want to eat.. i tin i can just go and die le.. cos it is very sad to be someone without any rights..

and all the shit i have gone through simply shows me that i am wrong.. my exterior is wrong wrong wrong.. my appearance is just socially unacceptable.. since my exterior is now like that of the rotten apple.. who would even bother to just remove the rotten exterior so as to taste the sweet un-rotten part ne? but now the rotten apple still is able to differentiate lies from truth.. if doing nothing means love.. wa seh.. then this rotten apple is being borned into this world of people who loves her dearly.. love means action because action speaks louder than words.. i understand liaoz.. if u tin that the rotten apple is a beggar and beggar has no rights to choose.. u r wrong liaoz.. the beggar still do has the option to starve and die..

shit.. better think twice before you intend to get on my nerve!

today is a sad day..

sunday is a supposed to be a day when i really rest well.. i have been slogging so hard from mon to sat for just petty amount of money.. i m just so sad.. not only can't i not be a doctor.. i am now working like a cheap labour.. but my pay sucks like hell..

so today i have a whole day to relax.. i walked to mac in the morning hoping to buy the wasabi double fillet o fish burger but i was shocked that mac don't sell wasabi fillet in the morning.. i just don't understand why they can sell the normal double fillet o fish in the morning but not the wasabi one.. damn it.. i just feel so cheated.. i walked all the way to that disgusting mac to learn that wat i want to eat is not available.. i asked if they could just sell me one cos is just a difference of the wasabi sauce.. they said no.. i was so sad.. i cannot even have wat i want to eat in the morning and i walked until i sweated to that darn mac.. i just cannot believe that bad thing can still happen to me on a sunday..

suan le.. i shall just eat something else.. i am so lazy to go all the way out to that darn mac stall again.. irritating.. i will definitely sweat like hell if i walked there.. great!! sunday is yet another sucky day.. i have no mood to meet anyone today.. so i just cancelled an outing..

and to my friends, stop asking me where i am working now.. i just don't want to talk about it.. don't make me talk about something that i dislike during my resting time.. it is ultimately irritating..

anyway, recently i don't compromise.. yes.. if someone suggest going somewhere i don't want to go, i will just say no.. i won't even suggest that they consider somewhere i really really want to go.. in the past, i was accused of trying to get thing my way and everyone is accomodating me.. when they said 随便, they don't know where to eat so anywhere is fine.. now i shall not suggest, lest kena this kind of accusations.. i rather go eat alone..

and recently i m very unhappy with lunching.. i wont want to go somewhere which sells oily and expensive food which tastes horrible.. i rather have my lunch at 1pm with sh.. if that means i dont have to spend so much $$ to buy oily and disgusting food.. pls.. 我是好不容易才从103kg瘦下来的.. i don't mind eating oily food, but it has to be super yum yum.. if it is very oily and substandard taste, sorry, u have to go eat it alone..

from now on, i never believe in compromising.. you want u go there to eat, i go my place to eat.. then we meet.. i don't mind eating alone.. it is you who will die if you have to eat alone..

作好人又有何用？the shitty situation i am right now is not very justifiable.. how can i believe in the good begets good theory?

anyway, talking about food.. yum yum.. there is so many thing i want to eat, i shall just go to eat alone suan le.. haiz.. it is so hard to find very nice and cheap braised food.. like the braised pork leg and belly.. never mind, i shall work harder to earn more money to eat yum yum food =)

happy today.. hmmm.. just that i feel very happy lor.. why huh? i shall attempt to explain.. quite alot of thing to brighten up my day =)

firstly, i love my colleagues.. they are very nice people.. i never thought of meeting nice people but they appeared..

and today i am exceptionally happy.. cos i really understand how it is like when people say certain thing to assure u.. to calm u down.. and when u thought it was hopeless, people drop hints and tell u that thing are the way i wanted it to be.. lovely!!

anyway, i really love the smell of sea.. though i cannot swim, i love to sit by the sea and experience the calming effect the sea can offer.. it is just so hard for me to go changi beach.. i dont really like sentosa cos it is too populated with ugly homo sapiens.. changi beach is too far from my house.. now, i could just go to the sea as and when i like.. wow.. i really enjoy the thought of it.. the vast sea can drown my thoughts =)

原来, 我当初的选择是对的.. has been hating myself ever since i thought i made the wrong decision..

will be making a trip to bkk soon.. will start making reservation probably next week.. =)

i am in control!! yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!

i really don't know why.. thing is just so unfair.. everyone in this world is given a chance to turn over a new leaf.. they could learn from their mistakes and then move on.. the past will never haunt them as long as they never do the same mistake again..

but for me is different.. my wrong deed will forever be remembered by every single human being in this world.. i was never given an opportunity to move on.. my past will haunt me forever.. so much to the extent of hindering my progress in life..

i thought of this unfairness today.. i was so engrossed in it till i lost my mind.. i looked at all the creatures on the mrt.. all of a sudden.. i feel like an alien.. damn.. who ask me to be so fat ne? i have only myself to blame for my plight..

someone really make me very angry recently.. that person who only knows how to substract but don't know how to add.. when i approached her to rectify the mistake, she looked at me impatiently and said that she was not free.. i nearly wanted to kill her.. but i didn't.. no point lowering my EQ for this kind of people.. so when i saw her in the toilet ytd, we just treated each other as transparent..

today at the mrt.. as usual morning rush.. so there is this asshole guy who all of a sudden squeezed his way through to stand beside me.. then he tried to get close to me.. fuck lor.. his back was drenched with sweat.. and his face was full of red spot.. my instinct asked me to move myself.. but on the other hand i was trying to convince myself that it was just a coincidence.. then the asshole then moved himself towards me.. damn it.. then i moved away.. i guess people standing beside me stared at me.. then with luck, i reached my stop.. damn.. i cannot imagine how it would be like if i still have a few more stops before i reached my stop.. and u know la, people are generally indifferent, so i will never get any help if anything happens.. probably, the people will only start to have some response if i cause blood to ooze out from his lower body.. and the people around me would probably pull me away so that i cannot harm him.. it is always like tt.. the whole world love the evil but denounce the innocent..

this bad incident is just the start of my bad day..

then the next gotta worst.. the AXS machines are spoilt in the morning.. damn.. i was so paranoid cos i just changed my hp fr M1 to starhub and i have the habit of relying on the AXS e assistant to pay bills.. and i always check my O/S amount for M1 and i still thought that i was with M1.. the horror was that i got a reminder sms from starhub.. i tot my line is gg to be cut off.. damn.. it got me pissed when i cannot find a damn AXS that is working..

and ya, still suffering from constipation.. damn it.. my lower abdomen is getting larger due to the accumulation of shit in my body.. damn it.. my constipation would cause me to do irrational thing.. really bad mood..

as i was walking down the road alone today, i cannot help but to feel sad.. i guess i knew i had walk this life alone when u left me a few years back.. if u were still here, i guess i will be much happier..

things that i don't understand
i don't understand why sec 1 kid is learning uni bio.
i don't understand why u try to make me feel less confident..
i don't understand why i am still constipated when i ate 3 banana, 2 slices of papaya and 1 apple..

forget it.. if nothing is wrong i will be gg bkk next weekend.. unless some crapz screwed up..

supposed to feel happy that i am finally wanted but somehow the feeling of joy is not there.. probably of insecurity or there is yet "formal agreement".. moreover everything can change due to 性格不合..

wanted to listen to This I Promise You ytd.. was really disappointed when the band did not have the score.. mq requested songs were instead available.. ok la.. i expected that anyway.. everyone with the sole exception of me, could get whatever they want in life.. i just want to request for a song.. i could not even have my simple request granted.. wat the hell? never mind.. chill.. it is expected anyway..

i guess i am a glutton.. i wanted so badly to eat the super-thin crust pizza with generous serving of topping of meats cheese and greens.. wow.. the smell of the pizza is so tempting.. i wanted so badly to eat the finger sandwiches too.. the shape of the sandwiches are triangular.. i hate sandwiches to be rectangular.. anyway, the sandwich consists of 2 slices of white bread with a generous helping of tasty creamy tuna.. there is also lettuce.. wow.. but i never bought them as they are too expensive le.. who dares say $$ is not important ne? stop the crapz that $$ is not everything..

my german version of beauty and the beast is still in 7 parts.. sianz.. how to glue them tgt ne? and i cannot find 败犬女王online.. i want to watch but i dont want to waste $$ buy the vcd.. sianz..

i want to go bangkok but i tin is better if my $$ are confirmed to be ok first before i booked the tix.. yesh.. i have been yearning to go since feb.. i pray i can do it 2 weeks later.. verbal confirmation is not enough.. scarly stupid thing always happens to me de..

was very sad.. every decisions i made so far were wrong.. why can't i go back time ne?

anyway, i have finally found the true religion..

just feel sort of weird today.. though i finally managed to excrete yesterday after close to 4 days of constipation.. i have been eating banana, payaya, pineapple and apple everyday apart from the regular meals.. but then still haunted by constipation.. today is the start of day 1 of new round of constipation.. 救命啊!

dont know if i felt quite uneasy today due to constipation..

anyway as expected thing happens the way i forsee it to be.. i wonder if i should feel relieved or sad.. but i am sure that i didnt want thing to turn out this way.. forget it le.. i have no chance le..

i just cannot log in RC.. and my head hurts.. too exhausted le.. maybe i have already became a slave for money.. i shall rest well tmr.. so i can grab $$ tmr.. lol.. anyway i could feel myself falling sick..

i wish u mean what u say..

anyway, i finally found my belief.. =)

i guess i really hate the martian to the core.. yeah.. i have no interest in talking to them at all unless there is business dealing.. oh ya, there is a cute martian but i never talked to him until recently when there is business dealing.. though he is like the other martian, at least he is handsome.. imagine other martians are so ugly and poor but they didnt want to talk to me when i got a birthmark-like patch on my face.. they can just forget abt talking to me unless there is a need to.. oh ya, that handsome martian just got style.. but the venus frens of mine do not agree with that.. but ya, i like his style..

a venus mentioned that she wants to take up cooking class cos martians like venus who know how to cook.. *faint* i told her it is better off if she use the course fee for the cooking class to doll up herself.. there is probably more useful..

anyway, today got me so damn pissed off.. nearly screamed at people.. but then i didnt due to my high EQ.. i must try to control my temper.. it has been quite bad recently.. maybe i will blog abt the reasons next week..

anyway, i took a personality test on facebook.. my love language is receiving gifts.. ya.. i didnt realise that until i took the test.. ya, i love receiving gifts but must be something i like la.. i am still disappointed that no one buys me anything for my graduation.. but then forget it la.. it simply shows that i am really not that important.. whenever i see my frens' graduation photo, i will always see a bear or flowers on their arms but zero for me.. i regretted gg for graduation ceremony.. i shld have just bought myself a bear lor, cos photo with bear is nicer.. but then it is too late, i cannot go back time..

i want to go bangkok.. and i pray i can go soon.. and i dont mind gg alone..

oh, i pray there is positive news tmr and also next week..

a beggar has no right..

damn i kept forgetting the fact that i am now a beggar.. anyway, i guessed i was too despo today.. i saw a temple and i actually stepped into the temple and prayed.. probably the effect worked but then i forgot about the fact that i am a beggar.. i actually didnt response to "aids".. damn it.. i even hiam it.. what the hell right? i really need someone to scold me badly and to mind of my own status.. how can a beggar choose leh?

anyway, i was thinking about my future while on the bus to chinatown.. i was too engrossed about it and i missed my stop.. i walked all the way back and to realise that the shop did not sell the thing what i wanted to buy.. instead i bought peanuts, egg tart and cake to eat.. damn.. i swallowed another 2 boxes of banana choco pocky today.. i realise that eating is the most joyous thing on earth..

i wonder in life, why was i always given my last choice? recently i am coming to term with so many crappy thing.. trying to con myself into believing that the last choice might be the best choice as it might be a blessing in disguise.. and u know what? i am such a failure.. i didn't manage to con myself sucessfully..

the stupidest thing i have ever done was to take triple science in college and foolishly thought that with diligence, i would definitely be a doctor.. i should have be more prudent to observe that my life is cursed by some witches or wat.. probbaly no witches.. maybe my life is fated to be a wetched one..

anyway, someone was apparently quite shocked that i didnt feel sad when my maltese passed away.. i told them that i like poodle all along.. but my mum bought maltese instead.. it is like u dream of marriage every single day of ur life.. one day the dream fulfiled but u are married to someone u don't like.. will u feel happy ne? ok.. bad example.. cos even u r married to someone u like, it is highly possible that he married u because 20 or 30 pretty gals have previously rejected his pursue, so he accepted u out of desperacy..

huifang is a beggar.. huifang cannot choose.. huifang is a beggar.. huifang should not choose..

next week would determine my fate.. sianz..

abt a week since i updated this blog.. recently my life is so screwed.. going the wrong way.. been so tired these few days.. sorry if i missed anyone call at night.. i really just too busy or tired to talk..

despite being super tired, i had some fun time.. imagine being thrown by paper balls.. and u realised that it was their 5th hit before 1 successful attempt and u just feel like shouting the word loser shooter to them.. and trying so hard not to scream the f- word on a bunch of noisy people..

my latest craze is the banana choco pocky.. damn.. it is horribly delicious.. damn it.. i swallowed 2 boxes of that everyday.. and i am going to grow fat!! i pray that i will get sick and tired of it soon.. or i might grow terribly fat..

anyway i have been gorging so much on food recently.. i am so scared that i will go damn fat.. i have been gorging alot on kueh and cakes recently..

try harder to convince me that u are now talking to me has nothing to do with my pretty birthmark-free face.. i never forget that we were standing side by side on the bus n u chose to ignore me cos of my birthmark-like scar face.. and now u want to talk to me? u wait long long.. since we have no business dealing anyway since we fr diff dept.. and pls, try harder to convince me that it is a coincidence that u want to talk to me when my birthmark like scar is gone.. convince me even harder that even if my scar is still here*touchwood*, u still want to talk to me..

tmr is another challenging day.. 加油，梁慧芳！