Saturday, 23 June 2007
sometimes u dont understand why people say certain seemingly unneccessary thing to you.. was the intention of those words to fill in the literary gap or people really mean wat they say??
these few days were busy days.. basically i didnt move that much.. in another words, no output but great input.. so i was so scared that my weigh would suddenly shot up.. and i weighed myself.. the large number that was displayed on the weighing scale scared me half to death..
nevertheless, that never stopped me from buying food.. hahhaa.. so i went down to the coffee shop near my house.. and the worker there was saying that i lost weigh.. i was so astonished when i heard that.. is there really a need to say such meaningless thing? those words didnt make me any happy.. instead i felt irritated.. is there a need to force urself to come up with certain weird conversation (or rather small talk) to just a stranger when there is no need to??
this concerns me alot.. because most of the time i realised that people talk to one another because they want to be deemed as a good and sociable people who are capable of making small talks.. and they thought they have the capability to eradicate any awkard silence.. i understand this is what society expects from human beings.. but if u dont sound sincere about the words that falls from ur mouth.. i would galdly prefer the "awkard" silence.. or why not let me initiate the small talk??
most of the time i dont like to talk about my private life even when people ask me.. this is not because i have some weird past or wat.. this is because i realised that pple never really want to know when they are asking about my life.. this is merely part of their agenda to make my life as the topic of the small talk so that there will be words to remove any awkward silence.. i never forget the incident where my fren ask me about certain thing of my life.. initially i didnt want to tell her.. but after her seemingly endless pleadings, i gave in and told her wat she wanted to know.. to my horror, she seemed sort of drifted away and i decided to test her wat i have just said.. i did it in a tactful manner of course.. and she could not answer any of my questions.. i simply abhor this kind of pple..
we are going to enter the corporate world soon.. and we might need to restort to small talks (which in my opinion is strictly insincere and it merely function to eradicate silence) in the corporate world.. however we are still students now.. why not grab the last opportunity when we can be sincere to each other by not making small talk but real and meaningly talk?
Sunday, 17 June 2007
the first step to everything is hard.. hahhaa.. yeah.. i always knew that.. but i like difficult start because i like to work with challenging stuff.. and i basically devote more time to challenging stuff because i like to feel the great satisfaction that results from accomplishing the challenge..
recently i m faced with a challenge of playing my violin well.. i wonder wat happen.. the start was hard but now i m somewhere in the middle and i cannot believe that i spent so much time dealing with a problem.. never can i play a piece well.. either my coordination is bad or my timing is abit far off.. and right now i don't really have that luxury of time practicising.. cos i got quite a number of thing for me to work on.. i kept pondering what life will be like when school officially starts.. hahaha.. and i never compromise on the amount of sleep.. cos without sufficient sleep, pimples and weird stuff will start invading my face.. hahaha..
nevertheless i m not intimidated by next semester.. because i always believe that human possess the ability to provide a solution (not talking about the quality of the solution) for almost everything.. i always believe that if both and ur fren are hungry. ur fren have $2.50 but u have only $1.. this doesnt mean that u will go hungry because u have 2.5 times the amount of money less.. this is because ur fren might be able to buy a carbo-laden and oily chicken rice with $2.50 but that doesnt mean that u cannot have a nice carbo-laden and oily meal.. u can buy 2 plain pratas at a $1.. it is a matter of utilising efficiently with only the little thing u have.. and trust me, human possess this ability..
i hope that everything goes smoothly next semester.. hahah.. if this fails, i might have to give up something in exchange for time for my studies and violin.. cos i never compromise on my beauty sleep.. hahaha..
Wednesday, 13 June 2007
sometimes it seeems so hard to be caught in a situation which requires me to make a decision because most of the time, i find it quite difficult to come out with a decision that can please my heart.. this is because most of the time, my head rules my heart.. therefore i m a rational person..
and i always told myself that i must keep to the decision that i have made over serious bouts of rethinking and evaluation of the whole situation.. this is because doubting the decision will bring me to another tiring rounds of re-accessing the whole situation once again.. this is not a super hard maths calculus questions that we can eventually solve when given sufficient time to think about endless ways to approach the maths.. trust me.. everyone can solve any maths questions when given sufficient time because maths is a rational subject with a certain solution.. however when we are faced with problems in real life and we need to choose the best "solution".. even if we are given 10 or 20 years to evaluate the problem, there will surface no right solution for everything that happens in life.. in life, there is no hard and fast rule of wat is the solution to a certain problem or wat is the ultimate right or bad thing we should or shouldn't do in life..
despite knowing this, i still ponder over one of the decisions i have made recently.. my heart don't want me to execute the action my brain told my heart to.. because my heart still harbors certain unattainable hope.. thank god that after talking to one of my friend, i realised that i should keep to the decision i have previously made..
the bottomeline is: perhaps when we decide to go forward, we should not look back anymore.. because it is stupid to go back to the starting point once again.. it is physically and mentally tiring to start everything once over again..Labels: life
Tuesday, 12 June 2007
haha.. finally got this blog set up.. previously was using livejournal but i don't quite like the layout there.. anyway, my sis helped me with this layout.. this design was far from wat i wanted.. i wanted a picture of a beautiful house with a chinmey.. then hollow heart-shaped cloud coming out from the chimney of the house and 2 cows eating grass together beside the house.. none of what i wanted is created.. nevertheless this blog looks alright.. hahahaha..
oh ya.. my good friend, Yu Ching, is getting married.. wow.. was so excited when she told me.. at the start of this year (new year's day), i went to Xiuling's sister wedding.. now it is Yu Ching's wedding.. hahaha.. I cannot help but wonder who will be the next one who will invite me for their wedding.. hahaha.. time really flies.. Just a few years ago, we are still little kids.. now my friends are now mature adults, taking the role of wife or husband.. and later shoudlering the heavy responsibilties of being a mum or a dad, nurturing the young soul, providing them with a good environment for growth.. life is indeed interesting..
