Tuesday, 14 January 2014
i wanna go somewhere far far away.. i wanna live a carefree life.. life's so mandune now.. i need a break.. someone, quick come and take me away!
I wanna walk on the street where nobody recognise me.. i wanna drink every night till i lose my consciousness.. i wanna lose myself.. i wanna eat as much as i can.. i wanna shout my lungs out on the top of a mountain.. i wanna sing a sad song in tears.. i wanna stone for hours.. i wanna speak German to native German.. i wanna have a chat with daddy.. i wanna dance in a v grand ball.. i wanna wear a yellow gown and pretend that i m beauty.. i wanna burst out with tears of joy.. i wanna feel touched by sweet surprises..
Sometimes i just hope someone can just come to me and hold me v tightly n tell me that everything's ok.. give me a big fat hug and reassure me that sadness is history and happiness is the present n will b the future! If this happens, i might cry.. cry out of relief.. do wipe my tears.. =)
I m hopeful someday someone'll do this for me =)
Dear daddy, i miss u like crazy!
Monday, 13 January 2014
feb 2013 was way too trumatising for me. Told myself to just live emotionless for a year. Feb 2014 is coming! I think it's time to wake up. I m full of uncertainties. I wanna stand in the centre of the stage. I wanna steal the limelight. I wanna be the point of attention. I wanna b a superstar. It's time to lose some weigh. I need to b attractive to achieve all these..
Wednesday, 8 January 2014
m feeling so sickly now but i still got tonnes of things2settle@work.. damn n i gt2work on sat! ultimate. on e way to work now, e mrt got no seat! then an old lady came into e mrt.. oh well, great i m gg2stand e entire mrt journey.. oh well, who cares if i m sick?
Tuesday, 7 January 2014
i think i m sick. got serious headache. n some signs of coughing. in fact, i m coughin now. hey somebody, i m sick!! I m sick!!
why did i get myself into such a big mess? why did i make such a bad choice?
i just need someone to reassure me that everything's ok.. n it's just no big deal...
Sunday, 5 January 2014
we are officially tgt for 1 month =) Can't believe that i m attached now! life's full of surprises! Life's amazing!
Saturday, 4 January 2014
i m too tired. i got to work today & i woke up feeling sad n disappointed.. my sis bought laduree macaroons for me cos she said that since bf's not gg2buy, she'll buy for me..
i am having a headache now & my legs r aching!
maybe it's time to pop 2 more macaroons to make myself happier =)
today i felt disappointed. but then i got macaroons fr laduree n felt v happy! 8 pieces cost $38!
Thursday, 2 January 2014
laduree macaroon! i hv v bad craving for it. hv past by this shop tt sells this macaroon many times BUT i didn't buy.. probably i was hoping that some1 will buy4me.. but then i realized tt this not gg2happen.. i m gg2buy it4myself.. maybe this coming sat after my work event@clark quay.. i really really really wan2eat it so badly!
i dunno how many i gg2buy.. @ least i m gg2buy the coffee flavored n the rose one.. will check out other flavors too.. i bet there'll b interesting flavors to entice me2buy..
*yums* a little reward4myself for surviving 2013!
i really hope i'll buy the macaroons on sat! i hope i won't b lazy!
woke up on 1st day of work @ 2014 with a headache. mrt delayed n moved damn slowly. oh well, how2look forward to working?
i wanna eat modesto soon.. e food there's excellent.. but i really like e bread basket n ambience@la forkette.. hmmm.. so hard2choose.. gg both seems too expensive hmmm..
Wednesday, 1 January 2014
wanted to write abt my 2013 since a few weeks ago but was so bogged up w work and various gatherings..
So found some time to write about key events of 2013.
1. Final goodbye to S
After more than 3 yrs plus, the goodbye was final. It was for real this time round. There was no looking back. I still question y did God cross our path. Sometimes I think i know why. Sometimes I think I don't. But if he nv appeared, i probably couldn't survive that crisis @ work somewhere in 2010 alone. In retrospect, was thinking y did God even let that crisis befall unto me? I rather not have tt crisis. Because it was tt crisis that brought us together. @ least he knew all my likes & dislikes. I wonder if any guy will know that I love lilies, curry fish head, the Indian food (esp naans) @ Al Amin, & LOL.
2. Posting out
Every1 thought I will never ask for a posting out of my comfortzone. I never thought so too. Too bad, there's restructuring with a possible additional 2 yrs bond. Most importantly, I'll report to another boss and I won't get to write papers and do projects. So I looked for a posting.
3. Getting the service excellence award
My br hd put me up for the service excellence award and I got it. I really am not deserving of it. Once a pastor preached about grace. When one is given something that they don't deserve, they'll b very appreciative, and would reciprocate the good. This's so true. I try2b as nice =)
4. many la kopi session w WT
yup we hv many kopi sessions w WT. whenever i hang out w her, i felt hope in life.
5. various gatherings
i guess my personality is more of e reserved side.. nevertheless, am blessed that people took initiative to come into my life. had many gatherings recently. after talking2many frens, i realized i m so unsuccessful in life. =P
6. getting into another r/s
as mentioned in my previous post, yup i m in a new r/s fr Dec 13. hmmm, recently i feel that things hv changed. my sis told me something just now tt sets me thinking. however, she did state her disclaimer that her views r based on tt the fact tt she has nv seen n interacted w him b4.. oh well, i guess i need2speak to some1 abt this.. but who is willing to listen AND some1 i can trust? I msg some1 just now but e interval between her responses's so long till i fell aslp. Hello, any human being out there?
i got no new yr resolution in 2013. but i think i wanna hv some for 2014. shall think seriously n update my blog soon..
dear daddy, can i request for an appt with you? i am full of uncertainty.. i think you r the only one who can address these uncertainties.. else, many aspects of my life might potentially break down soon.. if daddy wants me well, just spend an hour of your time w me.. i promise, just an hour.. nothing more..
dear daddy, i really miss u quite badly.. recently, i got this unexplained urge to talk to someone who would listen to me.. got 2 person in my mind.. but so worried that they will tell the whole world abt it.. yup..
daddy, will u not talk to me? i m turning crazy..
everytime i listen to the song 'dance with my father', i feel a little emo..
dear daddy, do u know tt i miss u?
