never in my life have i been so chaotic...... i am just so sad..... so many thing to do and i wonder if my efforts are recognised..

may is my bdae month.. yet may will be the busiest month of the year.. so many things but i should have nothing to complain abt.. cos i was given an nsf to help me with my work when i wasnt entitled to.. so ya.. so i got manpower and should not complain is it? haiz..............

anyway sometimes i realised that my heart is shattered to a million pieces..... it is so cui and i just knew that it could never be whole again..

darn so angry.. i tot i could eat fried mee with ngo hiang and fried cabbage today.. darn so i woke up at 9am to realise that it was alr sold out.. and whatever that is left is so unappealing and i was so lazy to travel to jurong point to buy decent food..

darn why am i living in such inaccessible area? i must travel tt far to buy decent food.. and i would be darn sweaty and would spoilt my entire day..

darn i felt so angry that i was unable to eat what i want this morning..

haiz.. i just have no choice but to accept that it is no longer possible now.. darn!!

i felt so disappointed tt someone stole my effort.. darn it.. it is so disgusting.. am i still in banking? if not, how come can this still happen?

and to make matter even worst..

i saw the true color of one of my friend.. it is so disappointing.. after all the drama-rama of someone stealing my effort and my supervisor didnt even want to fight for me, and only my branch head felt very unfair for me and exhausted all her means to fight something for me.. i just felt that everything is hopeless the moment my branch head called me to inform me tt my supervisor just say that i only put in SOME effort for the project and so the effort of the project could be shared with another person.. darn it..

and then my "friend", he sent me an sms.. and i knew that i had a wrong understanding of the relationship i thought it was.. he never treated me as a friend.. and i am so sad and angry.. why am i such a moron?

i felt so bitter and sad.. darn..

as time pass by, i know whatever i want is no longer possible.. i finally understand that some thing are just not meant to be..

i still need some time to force myself to believe that thing not meant to be will never be..........

can i just believe in this and not deceive myself anymore?

my life has gone so wrong.. probably i am reaping my retribution i think.. haiz..

everything is possible

wa.. last week was the first time in my donkey life tt the food i ate at boon tong kee is only $10.. it is so incredible.. the place is so hot and i was prespiring like mad.. and the food was so little and i felt so pai seh to eat the dishes cos i dont think it was enough.. totally disgusted!!

anyway, i really felt like gg to eat curry at dempsey.. but i have no car.. darn.. it is stupid to buy car becos i want to eat curry at dempsey right? hai.....

i m getting hopeless and hopeless as days pass by.. haiz.. and i will never forget the pain that makes me so sad.. and i still feel sad.. anyway i have no confidence to do any single thing.. besides, he is leaving soon.. i know everything will end soon.. and i knew we will just be strangers on this long winding path of life....

i worked ytd.. and i learnt something that broke my heart..

someone cracked a joke during a wedding.. guys always hope to be with someone pretty and choosing a gf is like choosing grocery in a supermarket.. when they see someone at 1st floor, they were not contented most of the time and they would go up to 2nd floor and to the 3rd then the 4th becos they tot they could find someone prettier.. so in the end, when they reached the 5th floor, there was no more girls but just a sign that says "you have already reached the highest storey"..

after this narration, the bride asked the groom at which floor did he meet her.. he replied basement 2 and everyone laughed..

this is sad.. when will u know if u have already reached the floor 4 or u are still at 1st floor and there are still more ahead for u to choose and so u r not in any hurry to decide on this particular one..

i wonder if i really know wat i want in life.. not every single human is perfect.. hence, we must be practical and must understand that a perfect prince charming will not appear in front of u.. and we must understand that if the level of imperfection is within our tolerance level, we should just settle for it.. because no one is perfect.. really..

recently i am really in a super bad mood.. trust me.. really bad mood..

those admin assistant and clerks are stepping on my toes.... never die before is it? i dont see y they have the rights to be so rude to me.. it's time for me to rectify their behaviour before they get from back to worst..

anyway he is leaving in 2 months time.. after that we will go on diverging paths..