these few days i was so busy with navy open house and then the retiree dinner.. and i did something wrong and it got me in deep shit

anyway he came back to my life.. a few days ago, he was hostile to me all but then he knew i am upset, hence he came to console me.. i don't know if he had ulterior motive or was he under my boss's boss instruction, but i was very happy to be with him..

he could solve all my problems.. i think i really admire him alot.. i like to be with him.. i like to talk to him.. i like to hang out with him.. i like to just be with him.. oh no.. this is bad cos he don't think i am pretty..

i was so upset but only he was interested to listen to me despite he was very tired.. ytd he told me he will be a very sucessful person in the future and i tin so too.. he told me that i shall owe him one if his suggestion could solve my present sticky situation.. so i asked if he wanted a treat from me, he replied that he could buy himself.. so i asked him wat he wanted, he said he would decide and tell me later.. i wondered what he want..

today i was so busy with my another dinner proposal..

i like him because he is so freakingly bilingual.. i like people who is very good in language..

hmmm.. navy open house is over.. my week was too exciting.. nearly fainted.. learnt alot of PR skills.. i am sure i know a fair share of PR skills but just tt i don't see the needs to display them in front of lousy people..

really grateful to one person who had helped me so much.. really glad..

anyway, i was so disappointed that he still did not show that he likes me.. so sad.. why do i have this screwed thinking that he still like me? diaoz..

can u believe my freaking boss complained to my big boss abt me? oh well, it is you who initiate the fight.. asshole, i will make ur life hell..

anyway someone pissed me off today.. i told him i will get it done but i need some time.. he then asked his big boss to help and said that his big boss should be more effective than me.. i cannot believe this!! i told him i will confirm get the thing done.. since he found someone more effective to help, then i will not give a damn then.. and good luck to him..

it is weird.. how come i got this quite strong feeling that someone might like me..

hmmm.. let's see if he bought that cardholder for me.. hmmm.. wait a moment.. if he likes me, he would have known my bdae ya? i mean like he has access to my biodata.. so if he cares, he would have known my birthdate and did something special for me ya?

hmmm.. my colleague has been hinting to me on that.. but then i think is better to shrug it away.. if a guy likes a gal, he will never forget her bdae..

oh no.. i guess i am really in deep crapz.. haiz.. why why why?? i am so confused of myself.. who am i??

my god.......................

bored..

sometimes u just know wat u want but when something else came along, u just chopped it just in case there is no next one..

human beings are just idiot.. aren't they?

sometimes

i am so jealous of one of my gf lor.. she found the perfect one..

he fits almost all the criteria on my list wor.. ok.. maybe i will talk abt some of the more important criteria.. pse note i am only discussing SOME of the criteria ya? i lazy write long long blog entry..

he don't go dutch.. now the guys are so screwed.. if both the gf and bf are already earning.. the bf shldnt have soooooo many committeement right? unless he really comes fr a very difficult family background, i don't see why he could not fork out $$ to pay for his gf.. my dad once told me, if a guy really likes a gal, he WILL spend on her, excluding those exceptional cases where the guy really need the $$ to feed his family of 10 tt kind or his whole family is so sickly that he has to spend his entire salary on their medical bills la.. it is ok to go dutch if the gal and the guy are just friends.. but i will smack any guys' head if they want to go dutch but in the end, said he love me or wat shit.. if love is only demonstrated through words, i guess i am very fortunate because i got a truck-load of people who told me they love me..

he is too sweeeeeeeet.. i believe the first gift is very special because it will form part of ur important memory.. so he went with her to a swarovski shop.. he saw her staring at a pretty necklace so he bought one for her.. so sweet.. most guys would ask if the gal like the necklace when they saw her staring at it.. and most gal would reply they don't really like it or they don't want it.. when gals said they don't want it, it just means they don't want to force their guys to buy.. which sane gal will keep looking at a necklace if they don't like it? do u keep looking at a rubbish dump? no right? anyway, the first gift impresses me.. in fact i am quite jealous of her..

and they are going on some seminar with their frens.. and he offered to pay for the air tickets.. hmmm.. he must have love her ALOT!!!!!!!!! my god, that's abt freaking $600+ u know? i tot most guys would just subsidise part of the air fare? i am quite sure he is madly in love with her..

he is intelligent.. 1st class honours.. i always like intelligent guys.. i haven't spoken to him hence i am not sure if he only have academic intelligence.. donno if he is street smart as well.. but then i always feel that guys who do well academically means that they are mature at a young age.. they understand the importance of studying hard to have a better future.. they give me the impression they could plan well and be my shepherd..

he is sensitive, when she has to do OT and she is hungry, he would drive to pick her up from her office to eat, although he has already reached home.. a perfect guy will never let his gal go hungry..

anyway, i am sure that these sweet gestures will never persist.. over time, the guy would become complacent but i am sure that even if he became laid back, he would still be one of the best bf as compared to the other guys.. he is just a saint now..

damn.. why she so lucky huh? anyway i must get a guy like him.. and next time, i shall show off him to everyone.. heeheee.. *evil laughter*

expect no more u punk.............

oh so it boils down to the fact i care.. i just knew that i just cannot have it.......

never mind la, i am so used to not having it every year liaoz... i should be used to it right? why the hell am i making such a big fuss?

darn la.. it is my fault.. my fault..

i cannot believe this is happening AGAIN this year.........

i am darn busy lor............. i wonder if this is God's effort to keep me busy so that my mind will not stray.. my mind is resistant to believing in things that give people false hope.. but then who knows if that will never work?

more thing coming up.. i m refreshing my knowledge on dreamweaver.. i need to upload certain files on my branch webbie..

and... darn my secondary appt is getting stressful i tin.. and i will never forget the remark made by someone very important.. if u are an apple but u can only do an orange job, then will be bad.....

darn...