Thursday, 29 November 2007
darn sad today.. actually sort of predicted it.. so tried my super best to circumvent it.. somehow it is useless.. it is ok.. went to sort of my fav hawker centre with me and myself.. hahaha.. sort of pathetic but it is ok la..
the chicken chop was not nicely done.. but it is still chicken chop.. this is important.. cos i wanted to eat chicken chop all along.. but no where near my house (near meaning within acceptable walking distance) sell chicken chop..
and none of my fren want to eat chicken chop and i will appear anti-social if i eat alone.. cos i don't see the point in buying chicken chop from air-conditioned megabit but then bring out into the canteen.. i dont think it is sensible to "abandon" the air con place for the hot and stuffy canteen.. so the best way but yet, the saddest way is to eat with myself.. and also not in sci..
so i guessed i was on the edge of breaking out on the bus.. but as images of my failure filled my mind.. but luckily no tear came out or else very ma lu.. whahahhaa..
it is ok..
it is no big deal..
oh ya.. i really admired my fren's bf.. he is always there to accompany her for lunch and for studying and for alot of thing.. and today my paper was 9am.. and her bf came along.. then the paper ended, her bf came to send her off..
and comparing with me mugging alone before the paper and eating my bread alone.. after paper eating chicken chop alone.. hahha.. i realise that it is so funny.. don't u think so?
and i thought of my admirer..
to my "admirer"
it is ok.. i will learn to live alone happily.. if u can do it, why can't i leh? sometimes i reali idolise u.. and i will emulate you..
to myself
i will let u wallow in self pity for the next few hours.. but u must start studying for 4266 fr tmr morning onwards..
Sunday, 18 November 2007
sometimes humans are just so pathetic.. they want but they dare not pursue.. possible reasons include: the lack of initiative, the lack of firmness in holding on to the decision, the fear of possible failure, the fear of consequences due to the failure, the lack of self-confidence and the lack of initiative..
just like mac launched a series of TMNT a few months ago.. they come with happy meal.. so i was thinking if i should just go get them but there were simply too much considerations and in the end, the period to acquire those turtles was over.. and that also stop my consideration process as well..
why? i mean why? i couldn't understand why i took 10 years to contemplate if i should get those turtles..
some of my considerations include:
(1) happy meal is fattening, decreases my chance of getting a husband.. :p
(2) it is expensive to acquire 4 of them, cos i need to eat 4 sets of happy meals and those turtles does not come free..
(3)why do i want those 4 turtles for? though my house is full of dust and they could serve to collect some dust..
(4)do i really want those turtles? would they end up in the garbage bin unknowingly?
so in the end, i didn't buy those turtles cos simply of the weirdo reasons above..
and now i am missing those turtles..
grrr..
Friday, 16 November 2007
haha.. might seems abit pathetic but i guess i am still trying to overcome the grief of getting unexpected marks for my german oral and yesterday semester test was a crapz.. i wonder why the world is never fair, of all the modules german is the module which i faithfully dedicate alot of time to study.. and wat? this is the return i gg to get? i gonna get back my results maybe next week.. i hope it is tue.. not later than that cos sat is my first paper i want to overcome my grief first before getting ready for my first paper..
though i know that the world is not fair, i must not give up.. i must go against the law of nature.. the law of nature dictates that investment dont neccessarily guanrante a return cos not everyone has the luck.. but i must fight against it..
i must work hard.. this is becos i might end up with nothing in the future.. imagine if i didnt get a good degree out.. i will be a lonely old hag collecting paper cardboard and used drink cans for a living.. probably i wont even have anyone with me cos all my good frens will either be married or too busy with their work out there and i might not have the financial capability to adopt a child to be with me for the rest of my life..
even since i can't get into med school, i understand this is more or less my fate.. but i will not give up..
i must do well this semester!!
我要逆天而行..
Wednesday, 7 November 2007
i understand i m too busy to care about my surroundings.. that is why i am pretty oblivious to the people or surrounding around me.. but i guess only real funny jokes can catch my attention..
the stupidest thing that ever happen to me is that there was this gal in german tutorial, she started asking me about the tutorial stuff and then i started asking her which lecture grp she is from.. kw said she is from our lecture grp and she is.. i really fainted.. it is a wonder i never realise her presence all along..
same goes for angeline.. she was my lecture group 2 classmate.. i never realised she was in my class until she told me that during my immersion in germany..
both of them said that i never looked back.. hahhaa..
so in the past, there were many bitches saying that i m dao or wat.. but recently i m.. cos i m suffering from sheer exhuastion.. and something are simply not enticing for me to strain my muscle and give a smile le..
cos i understand that human are visual creatures la.. i m fat.. so i guess it is pretty useless if i smile or wat.. and yah.. i like people with initiative.. from the start of yr1 sem1 i have taken so much initiative to know many many pple.. now am i asking so much to have someone to take the initiative to come and intrude my world?
or because i m simply too fat this is why i m asking just too much?
if that is the case? i'd rather have no new frens..
yeah.. what is the point right?
