Thursday, 27 September 2007
wow.. i m so busy recently.. esp yesterday.. i did 4 work up altogether. 1 esterification, 1 hydrolysis and 2 alkylation.. i nearly died yesterday..
so actually wanted to go game day yesterday but no one informed me abt the dress code.. i wore black when it was either blue or white.. i didnt want to go lest that someone accused me of attracting attention by wearing the "different" color..
oh ya.. i suddenly realised human who are insignificant can be significant if only they know how to dress up themselves.. human are insignificant because they either look too ordinary or they are too ugly.. therefore they suffer at interviews, at making friends and at getting a spouse.. perhaps they deserved all these injustices.. this is because it is a wonder why they are oblivious that the world they are now living in is a realistic and people build their first impression of people based on looks and looks and nothing but looks. the ordinary and the ugly give people nothing but bad first impression.. with the bad first impression, the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th impression will be equally as bad.. cos the prejudices will be there.. the only thing that the ugly can do is to be of the best character in the world.. so probably at the 4th or 5th encounter, people can see more than their ugly exterior..
what is so unfair is that if u are ugly, u need to be at least 2 or 3 or 4 times as good character than the pretty so that people will have good impression of u.. dont try to question this.. cos this happens to me before.. when i was in secondary school or jc, i was so ugly.. my hair was so disorganised and i was so much fatter than my present self (not that to say that i m thin now but the thing is i was extremely fat the last time though i m still fat now), i got only less than 5 frens in secondary school and less than 3 frens in college.. and no other people talked to me, instead they mocked at me.. uni yr 1 was horrific.. thing only got better when i got to yr 2..
and i m pretty certain that my morals are much better when i was way back in secondary school.. how ironic life is..
looks are simply too important..
so from last month onwards, i told myself that i got to marry a good-looking guy becos i cant foresee wat injustices my child will suffer if she/he inherit the bad-looking gene from me and my husband.. inheriting the bad-looking gene from me is so inevitable, therefore, my spouse got to be good-looking.. in the hope that he will have the good-looking gene from him..
i know i m evil but i dont want my child to go through whatever i have gone through in the past..
and people stop being so idiotic.. guys (all the ugly and pretty alike) only go for good-looking girls.. but people do compromise.. very ugly guys will only go for the ordinary or the ugly.. so if u r unattached, stop telling me that love is more than just good looks.. or u would probably have got urself attached to some ugly guys or some skinny guys with narrow shoulders and some short guys..
i m not a baby anymore.. stop those fairytale crap or i will not want to talk to you, a naive kid..
good looks are the bare minimum for a good husband, a good job with good pay and a good future and a good life..
Friday, 21 September 2007
wat seems so beautiful is but so ugly..
wat seems so ugly is but so beautiful..
i was playing Bach minuet 3 on my violin.. then i started to sing.. there is one verse which i felt so sad.. and if ur love is true, everything will be just as wonderful..
wow.. IF.. everything in life comes with conditions attached..
probably cos the perception of human is always clouded with the apparent beauty.. people simply like to equate inner beauty beauty with external beauty.. why? this is because it is not possible, technically to quantify inner beauty.. therefore assumptions are always sub-consciously made to equate inner beauty with outer beauty.. lousy assumptions..
all guys and gals alike are the same.. i never forget how little frens i have in year 1 due to my poor dressing sense.. nobody even want to look at me then..
now, i dont even give a damn to so many people becos i knew they wont even want to talk to me if i was the old me in yr 1.. so i dont feel obligated to talk to anyone who talks to me.. yup.. sometimes i understand that it might take quite some persistance for me to notice u..
becos i know.. people will continue talking to me IF and only IF i still have some dressing sense..
so i m judged by my externality.. wow..
i m utterly disappointed with the human race..
it is ok.. i will come to term with the human race soon..
p/s: Minuet 3 i will perfect it more.. abit not nice.. hahaha..
Sunday, 9 September 2007
i never felt so tired in my life before.. i thought last semester was the worst i could ever had.. i was so wrong.. cos this semester is worse.. hahhha..
but still managed to meet up with my beloved meiyin on friday night in art canteen.. at first thought that we will be going out somewhere to eat but she got last minute project meeting.. so we grabbed a fast one in arts..
claypots and mutarbak.. hahhahaa.. it is such a wonder why the uncle selling claypot gave both of us so little diced chicken when he was closing the shop soon.. dont tell me he prefered to throw the leftover chicken away rather than giving them to us? my portions and meiyin's potion are equally pathetic.. but it is ok.. we got our murtabak.. =)
yertersday was a horrific day.. really drained out.. i think i m trying so hard to sleep more.. darn.. if only i am rich and i have a chaffuer, i could reach home in 15mins.. taking bus takes me around 75mins (cos the bus go through many housing estates and toured ard many weird weird places).. yes.. probably more than that cos bus are so infrequent at night..
every little thing that i m experiencing now will make me work harder for my future.. i want to give the best for my kids.. imagine if i had a car now, i would be able to reach home at 9.15pm after my lecture rather than 10.15pm..
watever it is.. i got too many thing to do today.. i pray that everything goes smoothly today..
all of a sudden i dont wish for the 1 week recess to come cos that would mean that i need to go lab for 5 full days for that week.. shall i just make it 4 full days?
bleahz...
Sunday, 2 September 2007
recently i felt so dead.. german is really so troublesome.. so many vocab to deal with.. and it is so hard to read the whole text without the use of a dictionary.. darn stress but it is ok cos it is more interesting than chemistry.. haha.. and i really feel like taking academic purpose next sem but i think i will not cos it may require me to devote too much of my time.. hahah.. i must write thesis next sem so i think i will just take german 4 ba..
so many thing to do but seems like i have insufficient to accomplish them all.. or rather i was too tired to do..
i m juggling with my violin as well.. haiz.. the pieces i played these few days are really not up to standard but i really lack the time to perfect it.. and sometimes i am simply just too tired to do so.. cannot wait for the mid sem break to come, at least i can devote more time to my violin..,
recently my tolerance level for people has decreased.. yup.. so beware of me hor!! hahhaha.. cos too many thing has happened recently and i am quite upset about certain thing.. humans are simply so capable of doing disgusting thing.. i understand recently my EQ has hit quite a low level.. but give me a week, everything will be back to normal........
=)
wat propel me in life is my motto.. i want thing to end with how it has started.. though failure seems probable, i must try hard.. if only i can go back to the past, i believe i will never make any stupid mistakes..
but that is ok.. wat done cannot be undone.. i will try to amend my ways and pray for the best..
