a beggar has no right..

damn i kept forgetting the fact that i am now a beggar.. anyway, i guessed i was too despo today.. i saw a temple and i actually stepped into the temple and prayed.. probably the effect worked but then i forgot about the fact that i am a beggar.. i actually didnt response to "aids".. damn it.. i even hiam it.. what the hell right? i really need someone to scold me badly and to mind of my own status.. how can a beggar choose leh?

anyway, i was thinking about my future while on the bus to chinatown.. i was too engrossed about it and i missed my stop.. i walked all the way back and to realise that the shop did not sell the thing what i wanted to buy.. instead i bought peanuts, egg tart and cake to eat.. damn.. i swallowed another 2 boxes of banana choco pocky today.. i realise that eating is the most joyous thing on earth..

i wonder in life, why was i always given my last choice? recently i am coming to term with so many crappy thing.. trying to con myself into believing that the last choice might be the best choice as it might be a blessing in disguise.. and u know what? i am such a failure.. i didn't manage to con myself sucessfully..

the stupidest thing i have ever done was to take triple science in college and foolishly thought that with diligence, i would definitely be a doctor.. i should have be more prudent to observe that my life is cursed by some witches or wat.. probbaly no witches.. maybe my life is fated to be a wetched one..

anyway, someone was apparently quite shocked that i didnt feel sad when my maltese passed away.. i told them that i like poodle all along.. but my mum bought maltese instead.. it is like u dream of marriage every single day of ur life.. one day the dream fulfiled but u are married to someone u don't like.. will u feel happy ne? ok.. bad example.. cos even u r married to someone u like, it is highly possible that he married u because 20 or 30 pretty gals have previously rejected his pursue, so he accepted u out of desperacy..

huifang is a beggar.. huifang cannot choose.. huifang is a beggar.. huifang should not choose..

next week would determine my fate.. sianz..