the weekend has passed unknowingly.. but the scar on my face is still there.. i wonder why.. i understand that time can heal all wounds but can it heal scar? damn..

can fate stop playing prank on me liao ma? i really need my pretty face.. shit.. that is the only good thing fate has given me.. now to have a scar on my face is going to ruin my life.. in this disgusting society, a face with a birthmark-like scar will bring u to nowhere..

has fate decreeded my life to be worthless? in life, i was always subject to alot of crapz.. i wonder why i did so many stupid thing in the past.. i really hated myself.. i see all my coursemates enjoying their job but not me..

fate always like to make me choose stupid decision.. i regretted studying triple science in college (cos i foolishly thought that i could read medicine).. i regretted reading chemistry in uni (cos i foolishly thought that i should major in what i can score best).. i regretted working in the bank (cos i foolishly thought that i could earn alot of $$)..

working in the bank means giving up research opportunity.. it means giving up govt jobs.. it was so easy to get a job when i graduated.. i really hate myself for every damn decision i have made in the past.. and u know what? i don't even see what future i have for myself.. let apart to say that i should just learn from the past and not to repeat in the future.. lost opportunities will never return to u again.. i wonder why i was on earth in the first place..

anyway, did you know that from the day you left me.. i was left alone.. really alone.. i wonder if u can hear me from above.. in the past, i still have you to lead me to solution.. but now not anymore..

and you know? i always tried to con myself into believing that thing will turn out fine.. but i always failed simply cos thing always never turn out fine.. i wonder why i have to do thing i hated.. it is NOT my choice but i have no rights to choose because a beggar can never choose her own food..

anyway.. if u are still around, i am sure i will be very sucessful.. but u are not around..

haiz.. feel like eating BK but they are just so far away.. feel like eating a dinner cooked by my mum but not possible..

forget it.. shall just rest now.. got a battle to fight tomorrow.. =( And the chances of me emerging alive from the battle is close to zero..