damn.. when u are feeling so bad.. the last thing u want is someone to come and mess with u and then makes u even more depressed.. i am very tired of her screaming and shouting accompanied by some crying..

i really cannot stand it already!! i am close to nervous breakdown.. i never knew life was so unfair to me.. there is nothing in my life that i like.. right from the start, i never wanted to study chemistry.. and then everything is my life toppled like a domino..

today i was talking to Olena.. she was someone i wanted to talk to.. i realised that she was so fortunate.. she has a very nice husband and she is a very carefree gal.. she is staying at a nice appartment at sentosa.. she took a cab home cos she thinks that german class ended too late.. deep down in my heart, i know that i can only admire her.. because that will never happen to me..

anyway, i am so sick of trying to encourage myself.. i guess i will just give up all my hopes and dreams.. for they will never happen.. i shall just wait for the day i will die.. now i finally know that it is so painful to live life.. i think i finally understood the pain u been through when i was very young.. i finally understood why you chose that path.. because you are left with no choice.. i finally realised that there will be a possibility when u are driven to the end and you can do nothing but to accept your fate..