huifang is inventing a time machine..

i wonder why i can never go back time.. i need to go back time to salvage situation..

(a) if i could go back time, i will be nicer to you.. i have heard about the story which someone walks down the forest.. there are many gems that lies on the ground.. he could choose and pick up one of the gems before the forest.. however, he could not turn back and once he makes the decision to pick up a gem, he cannot choose another gem again.. so stupidly, i walked down the forest.. i like gems that is barbie doll pink.. i saw one that is of light pink but not exactly barbie doll pink.. i didn't pick it up.. in the end, i realised that all the gems ahead were of other colors that were not to my liking.. i kept walking ahead.. in the end, i came to the exit of the forest unknowingly.. and that meant that i don't have a gem!! i want that light pink gem now!!!

(b) have you ever felt so bad for being responsible for someone's death? in 变奏曲, the male lead didn't pick up the call of the gal who called him relentlessly.. she was in love in him but it was not reciprocated.. in the end, the gal died because he didn't pick up the call and so he didn't get the chance to save her.. anyway, i felt so guilty now.. another occasion was that i didn't know that ignoring someone will cause someone to die.. i was too young and immature then.. anyway i guess i have my retribution now.. i am being ignored now..

(c) i have hurted someone so badly in the past.. i was also young and immature then.. probably that was why i ballooned to 103kg and guys mocked at me in secondary school and JC.. i never ever forget that when i was JC, a guy liked me but i overheard his fren telling him not to fall in love with a 103kg gal cos it is not socially acceptable.. i never blamed anyone on this.. i can only blamed myself cos i believe that this was the seed that i sowed from infliicting "injury" on that someone..

(d) i should have studied accountancy in NTU instead of chemistry in NUS.. moreover i should have studied hard in my year 1 and 2 instead of playing so hard and seeing my CAP plunge like mad before i see the urgent need to buck up or i might not even make it to honours.. luckily i got quite a couple of A after i bucked up..

(e) i should have trusted my gut feeling instead of gg to xx.. shit.. i felt so stupid..

(f) i placed my trust over the wrong person.. *period* i neglected the fact that the person is a wrong one..

anyway, i want a time machine badly.. it is so hard to carry on live with so many regrets.. understands that i should learn lessons and live life without repeating history.. but i really cannot carry on already.. it is disappointment after disappointment.. at first i thought that someone was there to reach out for me cos an angel saw a falling soul and somewat sympathesizes with me badly but then i realised that he wanted to help because there is ulterior motive..

have u ever felt so lost that you are consulting the tarot cards for advice cos either people don't care or they simply don't know what to advice..

i hope my invention will be successful.. or rather i hope i am fated to have a time machine..