everyone is just so immersed in their own world.. i am just like a drifter.. aimlessly floating about in this big earth.. wanted to settle down at a corner where human beings are present.. but alas! i failed..

did i just scream? i guess so.. but why didn't anyone look at me? probably it was not loud enough.. should i try even louder? but i believe i did scream hard enough because my voice is too hoarse now.. then why did no one look at me? i am so tall.. how could it be possible that anyone missed seeing me?

now i understand why there is multiple personality disorder.. how alters could arise.. i never believe in this pyschiatric disease in the past.. but now i do.. all beings are just so fragile.. sometimes when u are in deep shit, yet no one wants to lend a helping hand.. u just have to help urself.. knowing that helping urself is pathetic.. u create someone to help urself.. however, the creator didn't realise that it is equally as pathetic.. because the creator is in oblivion that he is the creator.. he mistakenly thought that the creation was a long awaited god-given grace.. it is sad that people hardly wakes up from their dreams.. probably their subscious self just want to protect..

i really want to go study german in germany.. i am hoping so hard that i could save up to go fulfil my dream.. but now everything has shattered.. i know i am going to live life with regrets.. i have already 1 regret in life.. looks like the 2nd one will be coming in..

but deep down i know that you will wait for.. if u get there before i do, don't give up on me.. i'll meet you when my chores are through i donno how long i'll be.. but i not gonna let u down.. darling wait and see.. and between now and then and till i see u again i will be loving u.. love me..