in the end, i passed both my financial papers successfully. though i have passed, i really don't feel any sense of joy or what.. probably i knew that i will pass.. i am always good at exams.. i admit that i always worry alot before exams that i cannot do well.. just ignore me beh.. i can hardly pass any mock exams probably i know that it is just a mock, not something real.. however, the standard of the mcq of the 2 papers is so less tricky compared to NUS..
recently i m procrastinating all the time.. dreaming and thinking about my life.. what i really want in life.. i knew that i always wanted to be a doctor, although my dad thinks that i wanted to be one because my mum wanted me to and he kept saying that i should persue my own dreams.. haiz.. what he never knew is that i really want to be a doctor.. i studied so hard for my A level and here i m in NUS science.. damn it..
my best friend, xiuling, is now a paramedic.. she has persued her passion cos the pay of a paramedic is pathetic.. then i told her it is good that she persued her passion but i will never ever got the chance to persue my passion.. so she asked me why i never try graduate medical school.. in life, we are always restricted by $$.. IF ONLY i have $$, i would have gone to austrialia or england to study medicine after my A level and i would be a doctor soon.. medicine course overseas is freakingly expensive.. anyway, the reasons why i cannot go med grad school is plentiful..
forget it.. this shall just remain as a dream that i cannot fulfiled.. i mean, even if i have $$ in a few years time to study medicine, i won't want to do it either because the duration of the course is too long.. i cannot imagine how freakingly old by the time i sucessfully become a doctor.. it may be inspiring.. however, sometimes inspiring has a great element of stupidity as well..
p/s: 看《一廉幽梦》的紫玲，会令人感到一点的悲伤..
p/s2: i know i have been complaining in many of my blog entries about my inability to get into medical sch.. just bear with me a little yah..
Labels: fate, life
