so in the end, i am in a dilemma now.. sometimes choices might not be a good thing.. went to clark quay to find hl to ask more so as to make an informed choice.. then was on the phone with xl to ask about her opinions with regards to that.. in anyway, i am still confused.. and i wonder why..

so tmr yc invited me to her house to eat dumplings.. haha.. actually i tot that it was not very convenient for yc to meet me tmr but she said that she will soon be off to shang hai until late aug.. by the time, i might or might not have time depending on which choice i take up.. so in the afternoon i might be going to embassy to settle some issues.. =x

i really love angelika.. despite i took few days to reply her mail in german (cos german writing somehow scares me a little as i have not been using it for close to a month), she reply me fast.. suddenly i want to go austria to look for her.. =) oh ya, i guess i will reply her mail tmr.. really no mood now.. cos i want to sleep now in case the HR dept call me in the wee hours of the day tomorrow morning.. ya lor.. nitey..

p/s: i m different now.. really different.. and it is in a positive way.. haha..

so i guess i am empolyed.. not officially empolyed because I havent signed the offer letter yet.......... haha..

but then i will still attend another interview tmr.. just see see look look.. see which pays me the best..

i was telling xl and mq.. these 2 years i will go for $$.. after then, i will go for passion.. yup.. hahahaha.. =) hope i am still not too old for that.. i have bought a german novel and the author dedicated it to his mum.. ich erinnere mich an deinen Glauben. ich habe gelernt, dass Hoffung niemals stirbt. Hope perhaps never dies..

oh ya.. kw's mum was saying that the chocolate wine from koeln tastes good.. sad.. i didn't get a chance to buy it.. actually i wanted to go back to koeln from muenster to buy it but i didn't. firstly, i didn't want to go there for the 4th time when i shld be going to different states.. secondly, amsterdam in holland and liege in belgium were better choice compared to koeln.. so i just forgo the chocolate wine.. but then i will be back in europe 2 years later.. probably i might visit koeln for the 5th time? haha.. for the chocolate wine? haha.. probably not because i think i will not stay so long.. and i want to explore more of holland and belgium.. =)

oh ya.. xl's so nice.. she bought me g2000 voucher to congratulate me on my job appointment.. haha.. and when i reached home, she sms-ed me that she got nice discount vouchers to share with me.. i am so happy.. i shall share it with my dear hl as well when i got them..

p/s: I am so blessed to know Angelika from Austria and Alban from France.. =) Just replied an email to Angelika, i took about 1 hour to write in german cos i forgot how to spell certain words and i was thinking about the RIGHT phrasing cos it has been quite a long time i attended german class.. Angelika is such a nice gal.. Oh Alban is so busy, hope that he can do well for his archives.. really hope that he will have more time to talk with me on msn..

My best frens..

me and xiuling..


me and huili..

ok.. so went to airport on satursday.. ya.. we realised that wat we wanted to know can be found at the arrival hall of terminal 2.. so we camped there, hoping to find some answers.. nevertheless i saw something really touching..

a mum brought her kids to the arrival hall.. the kids were holding a placard saying "welcome daddy".. so the kids held the placard.. and as their dad was coming out, he saw the placard.. and then he was very happy.. he hugged his kids and then the mum.. so xl and i speculated that the mum was the one who came out with the idea of doing the placard.. suddenly i realised something.. my daddy was always on overseas assignments.. but mummy never went to the airport to send him off nor to fetch him when he arrived singapore.. probably if mummy had done this, their marriage would have been a very happy one.. i always find it a pity that the marriage between my mummy and daddy cannot be salvaged.. i knew the reasons but then this is simply just the weakness of the human population.. shall talk abt this weaknesses probably in the next post or wat..

ok.. this is not the intention of us going to the airport to witness this touching scene.. but rather i finally got to know wat i want to know.. it was not exactly pleasant.. and then, i realised.. something are just not meant to be..

p/s: i knew that i need to lose weigh BUT the mind is strong but the body is weak.. i have been eating tonnes of bread and pork rib at cartel for 2 consecutive nights le.. i always love western food.. esp pork rib.. haha.. and ya.. thanks pple for trying to convince me that i am not fat.. though i know is a lie, i really appreciate it.. =)

in life when u are given one thing.. u might not be contented.. probably it was obtained too easily.. so in the end, u tried to get something that is harder to obtain which is probably not within ur reach..

so in the end, u become so upset when u failed.. cos in the end, u lost both..

yup.. i m upset..

haha.. if u understand wat i m trying to say.. then good.. if not, the last thing u shld do is to ask me.. reciting about failre is a sad thing to do..

Languages
if u know me well.. u shld know that i know English, Chinese and German.. I want to thank my host for helping me improve my spoken German.. it was indeed quite torturous to speak in German, especially when we were discussing about some issues in life.. if only i can stay there for longer, i bet i will be super fluent.. Oh ya, i also know chinese dialects like Hokkien and Teochew but i am not very good at speaking either.. haha..

since my german now is quite alright, i want to embark on a new language.. i am still exploring.. most probably it will be french.. haha..

for most human beings on earth, physical looks are the most important criteria for first impression.. however, looks are not very important to me.. what attracts me to someone is the way the person speaks.. the choice of words and the manner he weaved them into sentences.. another factor that attract me is that if he know 3 or more languages well.. meaning he can speak them either fluently or not so fluently.. i understand that learning to speak a language is very difficult so if someone tried to speak german to me, i will try my best to encourage him.. because i hope that this little encouragement can spur him to work harder in mastering the language..

i like the chinese language.. yup.. for most chinese, they have dialect names or christian names.. for most of my gf, i will address them by their name in han yu pin yin even if frens address them by their dialect names or christian names.. this is because i find it very meaningful to adress them that way.. i was partly inspired by the serial westside story by 5566.. for guys, i won't do that cos i find it weird.. unless their name is already in han yu pin yin to begin with.. this is also inspired by westside story.. haha.. i will only address the name of my bf or husband in han yu pin yin ba.. but then it is hard to say.. cos if i were to marry a European eventually, i might not even have the chance to do so le.. haha..

i like german language as well.. i like to read german.. i have bought a german CD.. i wanted to buy it all along.. and so whenever i am listening to it, i feel a little teary.. because i know if i didnt go germany this time round, no one will get it for me.. cos it is so hard to tell someone wat CD to buy when i dont even know if that exist.. but it exist!! =) i have also bought quite alot of german books and postcards(friendships and love).. those postcards are supposed to be for the intended recipents but i just don't bear to part with them.. =P

after learning german, i realised that i like european languages.. so i might be taking another one.. =)

p/s1: I am so stressed with all the job applications.. i am waiting for deadlines to come.. because some only close in early Aug.. 2 of the applications have already closed yesterday.. this gives me hope.. i want to start working and earning..

p/s2: I will be going to Europe in 2 years time.. haha.. i went europe in 2006 and 2008.. so by mathematical pattern, i shld be there in 2010.. wahahaha..

these few days i was so busy with going out.. so busy to the extent that i cannot go to the airport for a whole day with xiuling.. cos i got a mission to fulfil so that i will just accept my fate and die.. i have heard quite alot of negative thing.. but then i will only believe if my eyes see IT.. it is highly probable that i might see what i dont want to see.. but then i am thankful that at least i didn't know of this harsh reality until i was back from europe..

so xl and i will be going next week to the airport and assume the role of a detective.. but then before we start work, we will be having breakfast at swenson.. so that i have energy to feel sad afterwards.. the last time when we went to send MQ off, MQ was first having breakfast at swenson.. the set meal comes with a sunny side up.. the egg yolk was so watery and i was literally wiping off the saliva that was drooling off my mouth.. i didn't order a meal cos i had already eaten breakfast..

i hope i won't see whatever i don't want to see..

p/s: i guess i have found another human being whom i think is a good friend.. =) but i guess i am too busy to keep in contact.. or rather i got no initiative??

sometimes when something don't happen, i will try to question what have possibly gone wrong.. i will think very hard.. so hard that i see so many possibilities to it.. then i would ask my fren which of the possibilities are the reality.. she will then say that she don't know because she does not have the ability of God..

so in the end, i decide continue to analyse it on my own.. and alas, more possibilties ensue which then adds on to the already very long list of possibilities.. in the end, i decide to heed the advice of my fren..

JUST WAIT.. TIME WILL TELL EVERYTHING..

p/s: i've gluttonly gobbled down a whole packet of nasi lemak with extra oily chili, 1 luxuriously greasy luncheon meat, 1 gigantic cripsy chicken patty, 2 chilli deep fried bean curd and some oil fried lady finger and extra serving of fragant coconunt rice.. it is disastrous to my physique but yummy!!

p/s2: i went high tea buffet yesterday and gobbled many little exquisite cakes and pastries and many sinful deep fried snacks and unhealthy mayonaise laden salad and ice-creams.. we were so full that none of us could take dinner after that..

p/s3: yes, i know.. i m going to be fatter.. hahaha..

p/s4: if it wasn't for my graduation ceremony, i might still be in Europe.. haha.. and so getting fatter.. cos i have yet to finish every single pastries and cake in france and also every snacks in germany..

so graduation ceremony ytd.. yup.. daddy and mummy couldn't come for my graduation ceremony.. i was a little depressed over this.. but then i managed to smile nicely for all the photos.. i was a little jealous when i saw fellow graduates holding flowers and graduation bears in hand.. ha.. probably my daddy would have bought me a bouquet of flowers if he was there yesterday.. and probably my favorite white lily flower? hmm.. guess i shall not try to guess what would have happened if my dear daddy was there with me.. anyway.. it is good that my best fren xl was with me.. my another best fren hl was busying working..

oh ya.. was very upset the whole of today until about 10pm when i check my email.. =) also xl told me she got a voucher which i can use it to buy some clothes.. hahaha.. i love buying clothes.. was super excited when she told me that i can use it.. anyway i have bought too many clothes in europe (namely germany, france, holland, belgium).. this is because there is sale in europe.. (in German is Schluss Verkauft, in french and belgium is Soldes)..

anyway.. was quite happy for the time being.. just that i m now trying to lose some weight.. yah.. i have lost 2 kg since i reached singapore on the 8th july and i donno why.. this is probably because i have stopped eating calories-laden Leibinz biscuitS and chips and ritter sport for my meals.. hahaha.. especially when the last week in germany i ate (eg, currywurst, donertasche, and some exotic biscuit) although i don't feel hungry.. hahaha..

no worries about me.. i m fine now.. =)

daddy and mummy.. although you all cannot come for my graduation ceremony, i want to tell you all that "i love you!!"

p/s1 : i looked really ugly with the motar board..

p/s2: i have learnt some lesson in germany when i was travelling around alone.. i will try to post it when i have time.. =)