i was so depressed last week over my virus attack.. and alot of shit happened and then another shit happened..

my colleague KT was back from ICT on Tue.. KT was supposed to be back on Mon so i nearly killed him when i realised he took off on mon cos i am his covering person for all his job.. but i am so grateful when he helped me solve one of my problem.. he is my dear colleague who i like alot..

___________________________________________________________

anyway due to my saddness i finally had the chance to understand him (the person as mentioned in my previous entry) at a deeper level.. i wonder if he is someone with hidden agenda when he came over to lend me a hand.. but i denied all that because i wanted to believe in our friendship.. i didn't know how thing worked and we had a mutual understanding that we would just be friends.. but in the end, he started to be so close to me and hold my hands.. i knew him too well that he could not have liked me because i am not those kind of pretty girls he fancies.. besides, i cannot be in a r/s now..

and after that, he did something that totally disappointed me.. despite my popularity, he always thought that i am a piece of junk and he most probably thought that i was unwanted cos he snarled when i told him certain things..

i thought we could have been very good friend because we think so alike.. but now he crossed the line.. i just want to know what was on his mind when he came to hold my hands..

and today he heard some rumors abt me and MZ.. he attempted to call me but i never returned his call.. then he sms-ed me that MZ expression was very funny when someone teased me and MZ.. he tried to tell me that even MZ think that it is a shame to be involved in a rumor with me.. but little did he know that MZ and i were involved in rumors many times le, and MZ never did or said anything ungentlemanly to those gossipers.. my other rumored bfs also never said thing bad abt me..

oh well, i just want to know what was on his mind when he held my hands.. is it he thought that no one will ever want to hold my hands and thus he is doing me a charity service to hold my hands??