A world with me and myself.

Sunday, 18 May 2014

Had wanted to post this sometime back.. a little backdated.. lol.. I think I had posted something similar before..

When i was young, my mum always bought a cake for my sis on her birthday.. She would sometimes custom-make a cake for her.. However, my mum never bought a cake on my birthday.. instead, she would buy me a pack of kueh baulu.. Once, i counted the number of kueh baulu in the pack.. there were 49 pieces.. OMG! 49 pieces of very dry kueh baulu.. My mum did explain her rationale for not buying me a birthday cake.. But it's really crappy!

In uni, someone in the group would usually buy a cake for the birthday boy and sing a happy birthday song for him.. Then he'll make a wish and cut the cake.. However, on my birthday, nobody did that for me.. just tonnes of happy birthday messages on my Facebook wall and a simple lunch or dinner with friend.. At first, I was really upset but told myself that it's not the end of the world.. Then I hid information of my birthday on Facebook.. Those tonnes of birthday messages meant nothing for me & i had to waste time thanking everyone.. once, someone asked me why i never thanked him on Facebook for his bdae wish.. Wa lau why so troublesome? As if u really remember like tt.. But anyway, after i disabled the birthday info on Facebook, no one even remembered my birthday.. including that so-called friend..

As i grew older, i realized that we have to be more zen.. I bought cakes for my birthday.. Why depends on others?

Then someone organised an outing 1 day before my birthday and surprisingly, everyone from that group turned up.. I thought it was for my birthday.. One of the groupmates even offered to buy KOI for us.. At that time, the queue for KOI's bubbletea was horrific and i was crazy about KOI previously.. I thought it was my best friend who coordinated this.. haha, it turned out to be a 'farewell' dinner because 1 of us would be going to the US for 1 month.. Anyway, I just laughed at myself for thinking too much.. and till now, this incident's so vivid in my mind.. I told X about it.. X told me to be optimistic.. X said that I should be grateful that I met up with friends (though not to celebrate my birthday) and I needed not queue for KOI..

It wasn't a hint for X to buy me a cake.. I just needed to share about my feelings and get some feedback.. Strangely, X bought me a cake that year.. Haiz, maybe I should talk to a random stranger online.. Previously, I could not really blog about this because I didn't want anyone to think that I was hinting them or what.. It was also partly because friends are also reading my blog..

As I am now no longer a little girl, I think I have learnt not to focus on tiny weeny things in life.. Furthermore, on what basis should i demand anything from anyone?

One of my friends told me that I am a 小黄花。Very cheery and bring happiness to people around me.. But I am too insignificant for anyone to notice my presence..

Well, I am not emo.. I just really have to write about this topic.. when I was young, I did not have moolah to buy cake.. but now,I am working! I don't earn alot but at least, I can still afford some of the things i want.. I am going to look for a delicious coffee cake! *yums*

In everything give thanks...

¤Take it easy... C'est la vie..¤