today is seriously a disgusting day..

after german tutorial, i bought fr my favorite chinese economic rice stall fr arts and brought it to science to eat.. at first i was so happy, because they do the bittergourd very very well and i like the bean curd as well.. and the happiest being there is no queue for waffles!!

then i headed back to science.. went to my fav space, realised to horror that it was taken.. so i went to many places, interestingly all benches were taken.. except one.. i was so upset.. becos the bench next to mine sits 2 medical students.. i saw their textbook and i knew it.. damn it.. so fate want to ridicule me for not getting into medicine.. thanks arh.. ever since i was rejected fr medical sch, i hate doctors to the core.. and now, u want me to sit beside some doc-wannabe? to illustrate to me that i m a loser?

i m so upset with my german vocab tests.. there are just 40 or so words (out of a 200 words?) that no matter how hard i tried to memorise those damn words(until to the verge of breaking down), they just don't want to stay in my brain!! sitting close to medical students heightened my pain.. i m just a loser who cannot memorise some simple vocab while those beside me can memorise all the names of the vessels in the human body.. yeah.. i m a loser.. i don't deserve to be in medical school!!

and sometimes i really find people so irritating.. sometimes when i am so alone and i need a companion, no matter who i called, no one is free!!! and when i was busy mugging with my vocab test, people i knew walked past and stopped by to talk.. it is just a waste of my time.. it always happens!! interesting.. when i just need to talk to a human being, no one will be there.. when i m super busy with my work and no time, everyone tried to pop by.. and disturb me.. i wonder if there is a conspiracy going on..

the fav place i always study at.. was never occupied cos no sane people will want to sit theere.. but then it was occupied today.. i know.. fate want me to sit next to some medical students and want to know that i m a loser who cannot get into medicine.. and also want tonnes of people to pass by to disrupt my peace..

if only i knew i couldnt have gotten into med, i won't have studied so hard.. cos my fren who got only BBC also got into science!! what is the point of getting As leh? is it fair for people who mugged damn hard to realise that ur coursemate only got BBC for A level? how easy my college life would be if only i just aim for a BBC..

it is ok.. life is never fair for me.. for the past 3 semesters.. during exams period, there will definitely be upgrading or renovation going on to prevent me from doing well.. probably is the reason why no matter how many As or A- i got for those 3 semesters, i will have a B or a B- to prevent my CAP fr rising.. and there was one sem i got 4As, 1b+, 1b.. cos of that stupid B, my fren whose SAP was 4.6 got into dean list and mine 4.5833 was out!! if only i got a B+ for my biomolecules..

my year 1 and 2 were a flop cos i was too upset that any ah dog ah cat could get into science.. yah.. and NUS didn't offer biochemistry as well.. so in the end, i didn't study.. this explains my lousy CAP.. yeah!!! u all have it.. first prevent me fr being a doctor then prevent me fr being a top chemist!! i used to think empolyer see more than CAP but after IA, i realised CAP is everything!! FATE, thanks alot!! u let me study so hard for A level and disappointed in yr 1 and 2 so i didn't study when i could just slack for my A level and study hard for uni!!

okie.. u win!! my FYP is going to be a flop!! yeah.. 16 MC down the drain.. so u all have a good laugh now? i m falling down!! 16 MC of B or B- is going to pull down my CAP.. anyway, i wonder why the whole world is so excited to see me deaD?

forget it.. i shall just accept fate le.. for my life is just so wretched..