why does it come to a point when i am super duper stressed? it is so weird that people kept telling me that it is ok that my reaction failed as long as i bothered to go and find out what went wrong.. the funny thing is.. if only i knew wat went wrong, would i have let it gone wrong? amazing!!


it has come to a point when all i want to do is to find someone who can listen to my lament patiently.. someone who tries to understand the stress i m under right now!! but alas!! i realised that faces got distorted when i pour out my sorrow.. it is amazing that friends could only share the happy times (make merry together) but when it comes to pain.. don't come near me..


oh ya.. i don't see the need to talk to someone who ignoreD me when i was alone the last time.. there are just so many classic examples.. friend meets new people and they stick themselves with their new one in a short period of new environment and then ignore me.. then after a period is over, everything fall back to the same place and if u naively think that i will still be there for u? it is just so crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!! there are 3 such friends i could think of.. nevertheless i never regret knowing them.. becos they taught me about the harsh facts of life.. hahahaha..


oh my sis said she bo bian had to listen to my lament cos she has to fulfil her obligation as a sister.. if it were just a fren, she would have ignored the person long time back.. so i asked my sis, does it mean i have to get a bf so that i could find someone who would listen to me? my sis said, he would break up with me.. how about a husband then? she said, he would probably NOT divorce with me, he would just go find another less lamentful mistress who is even prettier than me.. haha..


anyway.. recently i have grown to have no expectation of anyone.. i have grown to a stage when i don't want to give a damn anymore.. becos I am a social outcast.. someone who is yet to lose her weight!!


just to share a little event which i have shared with mx yesterday as well.. there was once a fren who gossipED with another fren of mine.. she said let's pair up huifang and xx.. becos xx is so ugly.. huifang is so fat.. none of the human population will want them.. let's try pairing them up, so at least they still have one another!! so mx asked if i have told xx abt it.. how could i have possibly told xx that someone said u are so ugly so u will be unwanted? cos it is so hard to let those cruel words pass my lips..


oh ya.. i must de-stress myself.. hahaha.. should i give myself a good treat to fried carrot cake, nasi lemak, hor fun and some chinese dumpling? i could think of a place where i can gorge.. but thinking of gorging everything by myself seems like an impossible task.. though i admit that i m super fat, i still cannot swallow 4 serving of main course in 1 go..