Saturday, 26 January 2008
as i grow older, i unwittingly realized that something are simply not within my control..
朽木不可雕也
how true is this.. sometime u tried so hard to carve a hopeless wood into something spectacular..
becos u have the faith that it could be done.. because u have the naivety that there is miracle if u believe..
u spent so much time to carve out something from the rotten piece of wood by exhaustively exploring various alternatives because the wood is too rotten for u to simply carve out something easy.. but somehow or the other, the wood try to resist being carved into something pretty and it let itself decomposed more and more into a even harder task..
u tried to spent money to allow it to become something useful but yet it still resist against it..
i guess it is my fault..
i m so sorry..
i never think in the perspective of the wood..
the wood just happy being a rotten piece of cheap wood and yet i still want it to become something precious.. i must not imposed my hope, or rather my opinion, on the piece of wood anymore..
i shall now channel all the time and money onto myself..
there are people who had disappointed me but i guess it is ok cos they are not related to me anyway.. but people whom i treasured so much still disappoint me.. i guess it is time to let go..
perhaps the wood is much happier being a rotten piece of wood..
i swear i will never impose anything on the wood anymore..
haiz.. must learn to be happy today.. cos tmr will be a gloomy day i guess.. in a few more hours time i will be embarking on a journey to familiarity once again.. but to bid farewell...............
