below are recent events..

oh.. this is my secondary school classmate, minus some who didnt appear.. the first major gathering after 6 years.. i guess everyone still look the same and stay the same..

it is sat.. incredible.. what i like about weekend is that there is no lab.. lab has indeed taken a toll on me.. it is just painstakingly exhausting..

anyway, recently i was thinking about some issues about human and i got so upset with certain species of the homo sapien population.. do i really have to shed an extra of 10 kg so that i will have a wonderful home with a loving husband and 2 beautiful children? although i m awared of this all the time, i did nothing.. instead i ate more recently..

now i understand why only pretty gals deserve to have good thing and husbands in life.. the reason is simply.. cos they sacrificed themselve.. they see delectable cuisine, they cannot eat.. they see chocolate, they desire to eat but they have to lie saying they hate chocolate.. it is so stressful to control your cravings and desires to shove the tasty food into ur mouth.. but they did it..

it is just disgusting to spend so much money on make up and clothes.. and if all the stupid and ignorant guys didnt notice, pretty clothes that can hug ur body so that it can accentuate ur figure can never be found in pasa malam or cheapo shop.. probably 1 or two is possible but most belong to the collections of expensive boutique!! so stupid guys, don't u dare complain a gal spending so much on clothes.. and guys are damn freak who are just so visual, can they stand their gf wearing the same clothes every week or clothes that doesn't accentuate their figure?? gals might not earn alot, but they are willing to spend so much on make up and clothes, i really salute them..

cheap make up brand like maybelline, i have tried their blush and it is amazing that once i put the blush on, most of them are gone within a short time.. yeah.. i was amused.. so imagine those gals who didnt earn alot, but they spend so much on make up.. they deserve our respect..

sometimes i keep thinking of what my dad has told me.. i felt angry.. but after a while i pondered.. i realised that pretty gals really deserved to be loved.. they have put in tremendous effort in maintaining their petite figure, schrimping all their money on accessories, make up and clothes.. investing money in all the beauty products and stuff.. they really deserved to be loved cos i cannot do it as well..

if u r trying to say that love is beyond looks.. save it.. i know the model perception as well.. but let's be practical.. the world is a cruel place..

i can remember that a few years ago, i weighed a whopping 103 kg.. then there was this guy who liked me.. so during class, he sat with his fren behind me.. and i overheard their conversation (i never wanted to eve drop but they simply thought i was deaf).. his fren was telling him, 不要喜欢她啦，她太肥了.. did they purposely do it loudly for me to know so i could lose weigh and then we can be together? so this IS love? this incident can never abandon my mind.. until now, it is still fresh in my mind..

actually i wasn't alone.. there are many of my pretty and slender gfs who used to be fat and therefore are criticised by guys or are ostracised by guys and gals alike.. it is interesting to know that that doesn't only happen to me as i shared my story.. but becos they succeeded in losing weigh, they are all attached now.. haha.. i guess i still got 10 kg more to shed before getting a bf ba..

haha.. i have not been touching any books or notes these few days.. these few days are in fact the lightest day of this whole semester.. everyday was quite slack..

oh ya.. recently i have too many thoughts in my mind.. i guess i must abandon them soon.. cos if i were to keep wasting my precious time on evaluating those nonsense in my head, i would be distracted hence, lose my focus and therefore would thus not succeed this semester..

anyway, about 3 months to graduation..

huifang jia you!!!

u can do it...

it is amazing to go to malaysia for dinner.. hainanese style dinner i guess.. it is amazing to taste my aunt's cooking because it resembles so closely to that of my mum's.. i guess it is my late grandma who imparted her culinary skill to all of my aunts and mum.. this is family i guess.. there is something that simply just separate one people from another as people of the same group has certain unique characteristics..

it is amazing to hear from my aunt my mum's terrorizing behavior when she was young..
it is amazing to know that both talk about the same event but yet with different description.. my mum would always talk about how good and nice she was when she was young but my aunt would talk about her terrorizing behavior.. my cousin said that people always filters all the bad thing to their children, and talks of their good thing to their kids.. haha.. it doesn't matter la.. because no one except my mum and aunt really knows what is going on at their point in time.. but luckily my mum was not there or i guess there will be some battle erupting le..

oh ya, yesterday felt like going to Giant after dinner to buy some bubble gums but since no one want to go then i shalt not go.. haha.. probably God doesn't want me to grow fat cos non of the bubble gum is sugar free.. hee..

i guess after my grandma passed away, my thinking has changed once again.. it seems like i have lost my old identity and i am now finding a new one..

what is for sure that what is happening ever since my grandma pass away is simply just too overwhelming.. perhaps i must have more time to accept thing..

probably i should just take thing easy.. c'est la vie..

p/s: i was overdressed yesterday.. sianz.. haha..